5 Things To Do for Yourself Every Day While Caring for Your Kids & Your Parents as a Sandwich Mom 

Nothing beats the fulfillment that comes with maintaining a smooth-running home while caring for your growing children and aging parents – as well as everything in between. The advantages of multiple generations living together go beyond the practical, which explains the increasing popularity of joint living in the US.

Recent research, however, reveals that sandwich-generation caregivers – many of whom are sandwich moms – are more susceptible to burnout and stress than those raising only kids. Therefore, it’s vital to prioritize self-care if you’re one of the 12% to 24.3% of Americans providing at-home care for seniors and children. Here are five things you can do daily to nurture your well-being as you manage your home and all its occupants.

More from CafeMom: 10 Tips for Having an Aging Parent Move In With Your Family

Ask for Help

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Have you ever heard the expression “No man is an island?” Well, this applies to you, too. No rulebook says you must do everything on your own. Otherwise, you risk developing compassion fatigue or its closest cousin – burnout. In the long term, the overwhelm triggers unstable mood shifts, insomnia, memory loss, or concentration issues that negatively impact your overall health and well-being.

Ask people around you for assistance as soon as you detect the onset of fatigue or just need a bit of me-time. Learn to accept that random, unsolicited offer that comes your way with zero guilt. Enlist your partner to take over bath and bed duties or request the oldest sibling help with Nana and Pops and not beg them for ice cream.

Nourish Your Body

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Caring for children and aging parents is fulfilling but can also become overwhelming. While grabbing whatever’s fast and convenient on busy days is tempting, your body deserves better. 

Meal prep and batch cooking can be game-changers for busy caregivers. Consider the number of people in the house to estimate ingredient quantities, and then write a shopping list. Allocate a few hours to cook, portion, pack, and refrigerate. Pre-cooking ensures you have healthy options readily available to cover the week ahead.

Get your kids involved in the kitchen. Invite your parents, too, if they’re up to the task. They can help wash vegetables, portion ingredients, or set the table. As you teach your kids basic cooking skills, don’t be shocked if you have to hand your parents the chef’s hat and join the learners.

Consider keeping several healthy snacks handy to satisfy occasional munchies. Think precut vegetables, fruits, nuts, and yogurt instead of potato chips or leftover pizza that’s been fossilizing in the fridge.

Hydrate Throughout the Day

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Some informal caregivers prioritize providing support and maintaining a smooth-running camp. They focus more on the well-being of those they care for at the expense of their own basic needs. Not an hour goes by without you reminding your parents and the children to drink some water, but you can’t remember when you had your last glass. You may be part of the 75% of Americans with chronic dehydration.  

If you think dehydration only occurs outdoors and is a cause of worry for a lost hiker stranded under the summer Death Valley sun, think again. 

Water owns 60% of the body’s real estate – it’s the resource that runs most metabolic processes. Losing only 2% of body water initiates a rapid drop in energy. This manifests as fatigue, headaches and difficulty concentrating – symptoms you don’t need while overseeing multiple caregiving responsibilities. Experts advise keeping a water bottle within reach to encourage hydration. 

So, how much should you drink for optimum health? Men require 13 cups, children need up to 8 cups, and women need 9 – or 10 if they’re pregnant. Breastfeeding mothers require 13.

Remember, however, that 20% of the proposed daily water intake comes from what you eat. Incorporate water-rich foods into your diet to meet that intake. Popular picks include cucumbers, berries, leafy greens, celery, kiwis, okra, and skim milk, but the list goes on. Conduct research or consult a dietitian to recommend the most suitable options in your region.

Infuse water to make hydration more appealing. Combinations like cucumber-mint, lemon-ginger, or strawberry-basil transform bland water into a refreshing treat to help you meet the daily requirement.

Do Something That’s Just for You

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This might be the most important tip yet: Do something purely for yourself. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive, so long as it brings you joy and satisfaction. 

  • Wake up earlier so you can enjoy your coffee before everyone else wakes up.
  • Unwind in a bubble bath.
  • Meditate in the backyard.
  • Write in a gratitude journal before bed.

These moments of self-indulgence are grounding, reminding you that you’re more than just a caregiver. 

Connect With Friends

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If you spend all your waking moments as the primary caregiver for multiple multigenerational family members, it’s easy to turn into a social pariah. Isolation breeds loneliness and depression. Over time, you’ll experience physical, mental, and emotional declines, diminishing your ability to deliver quality care. Unfortunately, women caretakers are the most susceptible, demonstrating why building and sustaining social connections is important.

Making regular phone calls to your inner circle or sending a spontaneous “Good morning” or “Have an amazing day” text to a friend you haven’t seen for a while can brighten your day. If possible, schedule physical meet-ups to promote social wellness.

No pals? No worries. Find a way to schedule “friend-hunting” expeditions to nearby communal spaces or hobbyist clubs to meet like-minded people. Making friends can be incredibly uplifting.

Be the Best You

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Taking care of others doesn’t mean forgetting about yourself. Although it seems logical to prioritize your parents’ and kids’ needs, neglecting your own care is detrimental to your health and well-being. When you go down, everyone else suffers.

Consider integrating a few or all of these self-care practices into your routine. When you’re the best version of yourself, you deliver quality support to everyone who depends on you.