Motherhood is a beautiful thing that comes with so many emotions. While we'd like to think it's all rainbows and roses, that's not always the case. Moms work so hard to give their kids the best lives they can, and sometimes, guilt overwhelms them. Sadly, we often put that guilt on ourselves, and it's just not fair.
Cyndy Gatewood is a 43-year-old mom of three who feels tremendous summertime guilt as her kids are getting older. She posted a TikTok video about her feelings, gaining 755,000 views and thousands of comments from other parents who feel the same way.
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Summers are easier when kids are little.
Gatewood explains that her children are getting older, and she has noticed this summer that things are a bit more complicated with her kids at home. They no longer want to play in the backyard or park, ride a bike, or go to the zoo. The activities that occupied them when they were younger no longer cut it.
"The guilt that comes when you have teens and preteens during the summer, and you're home with them, but it's like, they're too old to go to a playground every day, and it's like, should I be doing something? Should I be taking them somewhere every day? But when I ask them, they don't want to," she says from her car.
Older kids don't need their moms the same way.
Gatewood told Good Morning America that her three children are 14, 13, and 11, and this is the first summer she has realized they are getting older and spreading their wings without her.
"When they were little, they wanted to be by my side all day long, and it didn't matter what we were doing as long as we were together. And that was satisfying," she told the news program.
"Now, as they're older, they'll come home, they get their food, and they want to just hang out in their room, or they want to be with their friends or they're doing their sports."
Lots of parents share her pain.
Gatewood called it guilt, but one commenter thinks she might be feeling another
emotion, writing, "It might not be as much guilt as it is grief."
Another person agreed and commented, "I think you're grieving your little ones. I miss my kids' littleness so much it knocks the wind out of me."
Some reminded the mom that being a teenager can be challenging.
It's hard on parents and kids. One person remembered their own adolescence and told the mom of three that her kids are OK.
"Then I remember my own teen years, and I know how peaceful I was in my room," the person wrote. "I had my first Walkman, listen music, translate the lyrics, read books. it didn't feel a waste of summer."
Someone else agreed, commenting: "I still remember so clearly being a teenager and my favourite thing in the world was being in my room on my own doing my own thing. Don't feel guilty, it's healthy to spend time on your own. They don't need to be busy, to be doing something every moment of every day."
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Some parents had advice.
One parent had a good nugget for Gatewood: "Don't ask. Just lead! I figured this out a long time ago. They will literally say no to anything, until they're there!"
"We go on little dates like to get a half price sonic drink, Lunch, watch movies etc. I feel your pain!" someone else suggested.
Thank you, Cyndy, for sharing what so many of us feel. The guilt and grief is so powerful, it's nice to know we are not alone.
