The decision to try for a baby is such an exciting one, but once you actually get down to the actual business of trying to conceive, that's what it can quickly feel like: business. Suddenly, you become consumed with ovulation tests, calendars, and trying to make sure that everything lines up perfectly to give you the best possible chance at getting pregnant each month … and having sex, which was once a fun, romantic way to connect with your partner, is a lot more like a transaction.
But it doesn't have to be. Of course, there are going to be a lot of ups and downs in your TTC journey — there's no way around that. But it is possible to still have some sexy fun in the bedroom while trying to get pregnant, as long as you're open to trying new things and mixing it up a bit to keep it exciting.
Let's face it: For many people, the TTC period is a time when they're going to be having more frequent sex than they would more than any other times in their lives, so why not make the most of it? After all, the goal is a baby, and they are notoriously life-altering … so why not reconnect now?
Make It a Date
Of course, this doesn't have to be an everyday thing — but once in a while, a romantic date night out, just the two of you, can really make this TTC thing feel special. Go out for dinner and drinks, see a movie, and do something you both enjoy together before doing the deed.
Wear Something Special
You can easily jazz up a regular evening during ovulation week by wearing lingerie — either something you already own, or surprising your partner with something new. It might be a little out of your comfort zone to dress up this way, but that could also mean upping the excitement factor at the same time.
Leave the Bedroom
If you're the kind of couple who typically gets down in the bedroom with the lights off, good news: That just means it's even easier to make things more exciting. Try out different rooms in the house — and if you're trying for your first baby, really take advantage, because these are some of the last times you'll have privacy like this in your own home again!
Make a Bucket List
During the TTC adventure, this is a time when you're probably going to be having sex a lot more frequently than you might otherwise — so if you want to try things out, the time is now! Together, come up with a list of all the different things you want to accomplish in your sex life together, and cross them off one by one. Don't be surprised if talking about your fantasies gets you both in the mood!
Watch Something Sexy Together
And no, it doesn't have to be explicit — it could be as simple as choosing something sexy or romantic for your next movie night at home. Seeing steamy scenes play out on screen in front of you could do a lot to help get you both in the mood to get busy when the movie is over — or maybe even before it ends.
Pillow Talk
This is as good a time as any to keep those lines of communication clear! Don't be afraid to talk about what you like, what you don't like, what you wish you could try — and be open to your partner's thoughts, too. The more you're able to please each other, the more fun you'll both be able to have during this time and beyond.
Do It All the Time
If you're finding that having sex on the specific days it's possible for you to get pregnant is putting too much on you and your partner, you might find it works better for you to have sex all month long, without thinking so much about your ovulation schedule. Not to mention the fact that it might be more fun …
Or Don't
For other couples, having sex less frequently throughout the month might work out better — after all, it could give you and your partner the chance to miss each other in that way, not to mention the fact that it could get all the more steamy when you finally do get to meet up in the bedroom.
Get a Room
If you're in a rut, maybe a change of scenery, even just for one night, could be good, and spending too much time in the confines of your own home doesn't always help. Without even leaving town, book a night at a hotel room for a romantic evening — and don't forget to enjoy breakfast in bed in the morning!
Send Sexy Texts
Sure, if you're trying to conceive you're probably in a long-term relationship, and that might mean that the sexy texts you once sent your partner in those early days are a distant memory. Why not bring them back? It can definitely help up the anticipation for when you're together and help both of you get in the mood again.
Dial Up the Romance
If you need to inject a little extra love into the situation, there's no better way than going back to the basics: Rose petals, candles, a sweet dessert, surprise notes, maybe even a fancy dinner. It doesn't have to be big — starting the night with anything that makes it feel anything other than just another night at home can make all the difference.
Change Up the Time of Day
The longer we've been in relationships, the more we fall into patterns — and it can be surprising how easily breaking those patterns every once in a while can spice things up. If you normally have sex at night, try mornings instead — or even a quickie during a lunch break, if it's feasible.
Get Away
If you have the time and the budget for it, plan a fun, romantic weekend away for each other (while you're ovulating, of course). Go to the beach, get a snowy cabin in the woods — whatever feels right to you. If there was ever a time to reconnect and remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place, it's now!
One Word: Massages
Whether you give them to each other at home or you book a couple's massage by a professional, these can help you both relax if you're feeling tense about the whole TTC process — and they can be a fun (and not to mention, romantic) experience to share.
Remember: There Are No Rules
You're both only human, and the TTC process is different for everyone. Some people get pregnant right away, and for others, it comes with a lot of stress and disappointment. It's OK to take a break, it's OK to feel your feelings — but remember, your partner is there to lean on through it all.
