A TV-famous nanny shared her six-step process for how to handle things when toddlers start throwing tantrums, and it's so good, we had to share it too. UK-based nanny, Laura Amies, posted a series of slides on Instagram she captioned, âCheck out how I talk myself into remaining calm, even when my brain is telling me to SCREAM!!â and boy, does it resonate.
Amies explains how itâs hard to stay calm when a child is screaming, as any parent or caregiver knows. She says, âthere are certain actions that allow your brain and your childâs brain to determine whether or not there is a real threat.â The acronym is memorable, S.C.R.E.A.M., and easy to recall in the moment.
Safety
Appropriately, the first letter of the acronym stands for âsafety,â during which you stop and determine that you and the child are safe. This, Amies explains, helps reassure your brain you're not in trouble and that there are no threats to your safety.
Calm
Next is âCâ for being cool, calm, and collected. She says, âyour child will also find it easier to calm down if their environment remains relatively calm." Staying calm can be the hardest part when there are loud noises, such as a toddler screaming, but it is an important step in the six-step process.
Reduce
Then, Amies explains youâll want to âreduce sensory input.â This can look like turning off the TV or music, putting phone notifications on silent, or closing the windows. Amies says, âit can be very overwhelming and stressful for our brains if there is a lot of environmental stimulation to process.â
Exit
This one might be more familiar for parents or caregivers of toddlers. âHave an exit plan," Amies suggests. She explains that if a child has an outburst away from home (such as at the grocery store) it might be âmore preferableâ to leave and go home, reducing pressure for yourself and the child. If you are home, she recommends if itâs safe, for you to calmly leave and exit the room for a quick breather.
Allow
Amies says to âallow recovery time.â She explains that, âwhere possible, allow things to settle before discussing the behavior, asking questions or moving onto the next activity.â That way, it's more likely to be a less emotionally driven interaction.
Mumâs the Word!
The last step Amies shares is, âMumâs the word!â Meaning you should say as little as possible during an outburst. The reasoning behind this is that you donât have to fix negative emotions, Amies explains.
Parents have responded to the advice with gratitude.
Parents responded with gratitude in the comments section of Amies' Instagram post.
"This is great advice," one mom wrote. "Wish I had known all of this three years ago BEFORE the âterrible twosâ hit! Lol …"
"This is really helpful for me thank you, I REALLY struggle with staying cool when my son is screaming," another mother commented.
As moms, we all know how intense the toddler tantrums can be, so we're all ears when it comes to solid advice from expert sources. SCREAM sounds like it's definitely worth a shot!
