Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin created Big Little Feelings to give parents the practical tools, expert guidance, and support they need to thrive during the toddler years, not just survive them.
Deena, a licensed therapist, and Kristin, an expert in international maternal childhood education, have combined their professional knowledge with their firsthand experience as working moms to make BLF a go-to resource for raising toddlers and preschoolers.
With research-backed strategies on everything from tantrums to potty training, they bring a refreshing mix of expert advice and mom-next-door relatability, all delivered with humor and honesty. Their vibrant online community has grown to millions – including 3.5 million Instagram followers – and their parenting courses have helped transform more than 350,000 families.
Their expertise has also landed them on The Today Show, Good Morning America, and Watch What Happens Live, with features in The New York Times, Glamour, TIME Magazine, and more.
Their resumé is impressive to say the least, but in the end, they’re both real moms, just like the rest of us.
CafeMom spoke with Kristin and Deena about their “aha” moment when starting Big Little Feelings, common misconceptions about parenting, and what they personally struggle with as moms despite being experts in the field.
Their ‘Aha’ Moment
When the duo started in 2020, Deena ran a therapy practice focusing on young kids, and Kristin was a stay-at-home mom of a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. One day, after a particularly tough day of parenting, while scrolling endlessly through picture-perfect parenting Instagram pages that featured perfect toddler matching outfits, perfect activities, and insane bento lunch boxes, Kristin called Deena and knew it was time to offer something different.
They wanted to create a helpful, nonjudgmental place that would both help solve toddler/preschooler problems instantly (based on research) and simultaneously not make moms feel terrible after they scrolled.
“We wanted to show real life, the messy moments, the beautiful moments, mom buns, sweatpants, and stomach flus,” Deena and Kristin tell CafeMom.
They also wanted to create the most comprehensive, accessible online course for parents to help navigate any and every problem under the sun parents might encounter between the ages 1 and 6, from hitting, tantrums, and whining to sharing, bedtime battles, picky eating, sibling spats, and more in practical, short three– to 10-minute videos.
“So you can shift tricky behaviors while feeling confident you’re raising resilient kids in the long run. Think of it as a “masterclass” for everything behavioral/emotional for ages 1–6. Watch it once, get the tools, and get back to enjoying your family and life!” the pair say. “We were both desperate for it ourselves, and there was nothing like it out there – so we set out to create it!”
The Most Common Misconception About Parenting They Love To Debunk
Big Little Feelings’ approach is relatable and practical, so we asked the duo about the one common misconception about parenting that they love to correct.
They share that many parents think comforting their kids and acknowledging their emotions is “soft” and creates weak or snowflake kids. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
“You are your kid’s emotion coach – you’re teaching them how to look inside and understand what they’re feeling and how to safely, constructively handle those feelings and problem-solve hard moments,” advise Deena and Kristin.
The team explained that if you never acknowledge their emotions, you’ll make kids feel ashamed, weak, or in trouble for having natural feelings such as anger, sadness, and fear. You are basically wiring them to push down their feelings, disconnect from their body and needs, and science shows that’s a perfect setup for anxiety, depression, and later relationship issues.
“So, like we always say at Big Little Feelings, ‘All feelings are OK, and certain behaviors are not.’ In every tough moment, we have the opportunity to teach them to understand their emotions, recognize their needs, and handle them in a different, more constructive way,” the duo tells CafeMom.
Kristin and Deena add that through these moments of connection and teaching, we give our kids the tools they need to be resilient and strong in life, and that is how we raise strong kids who are anti-fragile.
What Deena and Kristin Struggle With as Moms
Despite being parenting experts, Deena and Kristen still face difficulties as moms. Deena shares that she struggles with lots of loud noises. She grew up in a yelling household as a child, and part of her parenting journey is learning to respond, not simply react by yelling when overstimulated and overwhelmed.
Deena says knowing that loud noise is a trigger for her gave her the self-awareness needed to set herself up for success. So now she keeps discreet earplugs on her (Loop earplugs, which she got on Amazon) and pops them in during loud moments when her kids are crying, when noises are overlapping, or when she just needs to settle her nervous system by toning down the volume.
Deena loves her earplugs because she can still hear her kids perfectly; they just bring the volume level down a bit. And her kids aren’t offended by it at all: She just explains to them that all bodies are different, and her body is really sensitive to loud noises.
“[A] part of taking care of my own body and big feelings is putting my earplugs in so I can better keep my calm and be more present to help them through their big feelings at times. I see it as modeling self-care and coping, and it’s been a game changer for my parenting and my relationship with my kids,” Deena tells CafeMom.
Kristin says she struggles with terrible internal self-talk such as guilt, shame and all the things she coaches parents to try to mitigate. She explains that after a long day of parenting or when she’s feeling run down, she will instinctively loop on all the things she did wrong or didn’t do enough of. It makes her feel like she’s broken or a horrible mom because she didn’t fold their laundry that day.
“Logically, [I know my internal self-talk is] DUMB. We are all amazing parents, and parenting requires 5,000 balls in the air; there’s no way to get everything done perfectly every single time or every day,” Kristin says. “We have to learn to be okay with, no, HAPPY with getting the most crucial 60 to 80% done. And everything else? Well, it’s going to have to wait!”
On Their Dreams and Goals for Big Little Feelings
We asked the duo how they hope to continue growing Big Little Feelings and what’s next for them. They hope to continue being an anchor for parents on this wild and beautiful journey of parenting. It’s their biggest honor to be walking alongside so many amazing parents, all of whom are showing up differently than they were parented.
“We have a lot of big dreams and goals for Big Little Feelings – spreading the mission of raising inclusive, kind, resilient kids who grow up to be incredible humans – and we’re on track this year to be releasing some really incredible things that we can’t share yet. The best is yet to come,” Kristin and Denna tell CafeMom.
