The road to motherhood isn’t the same for everyone. Some women know that they want to become mothers very early in life. Other women don’t realize they want children until they’re older. And some women know that children aren’t in the cards for them, whether by choice or not. Then there are the women who become moms completely by chance.
One woman told the story of her unconventional road to motherhood in her late 40s. While she wasn’t expecting it, she now can’t picture a life where she isn’t a mom.
More from CafeMom: College Football Player Is Now a Parent to All 4 of His Siblings After Mom Loses Battle With Cancer
One day, her entire life changed.
Actress Rhonda Marie Alston, didn’t think being a mom was in the cards for her. But then in December 2021, when she was 49 years old, she got a phone call that changed everything. During a trip to her hometown, Raleigh, North Carolina, Alston learned that her sister-in-law had died. This meant that her young nieces were without a mother, she explained to Newsweek.
She knew what needed to be done.
“I knew at that moment my life had changed. I didn’t know exactly how, but I knew that my life had changed,” she told the outlet. She knew that becoming a mom to her nieces was the only thing she could do.
“I have a big, beautiful family, but I knew it was probably best if I was the one that would be there for them,” she said.
More from CafeMom: No, Our Family Doesn’t ‘Match’ but Thanks to Adoption, It’s Filled With Love
The road ahead would not be easy, but she didn't mind.
Suddenly, Alston found herself back in North Carolina, a place she hadn’t lived in 26 years. But she knew it was the right thing to do as she became the legal guardian for her nieces Sky and Destiny, who were 8 and 11 years old at the time. The transition wasn’t easy. The girls were grieving the loss of their mom while Alston was learning how to be a maternal figure for them.
“It was sad and stressful. Making them feel comfortable knowing that they are loved and that I would be there for them as well as the rest of the family,” she explained. “We’re still adjusting, trying to make it all make sense, maintaining a mortgage and paying rent, and keeping them in the school system.”
Their relationship has blossomed over the years.
The thought of becoming a mom at 49 was certainly a lot to process for Alston. She had to learn quickly, relying on her village for support. “I was clueless to it. I’m 51 now and most of my friends had children 25, 30 years ago, so I’m having to lean on them to get through this time,” she said.
But she and her nieces, who are now 11 and 14, have persevered, and now the girls call her Mom. “I didn’t realize how much that word means to me. If people don’t know us, I introduce them as my daughters so that they know that they have that security,” she said.
All of their lives are forever changed.
Alston made it clear that no one made her feel obligated to raise her girls. It was entirely her decision. “It wasn’t even a question and the fact that I was in town was my answer,” she shared.
And even though her girls now call her Mom, she keeps their mother’s memory alive for them. She has pictures of her sister-in-law in the house, and the girls have bracelets with her name on them. “They might do something, and I’ll say, ‘Mom used to do that.‘”
While it wasn’t the most conventional road to parenthood, Alston can’t imagine her life any other way.
“It’s a lot of work and it’s scary because you want to make sure that you’re making the right decisions, but they let me know that they feel comfortable and that they’re happy and loved. I’m still trying to understand how I lived without them,” she shared.
