When I met my husband, I was living in a fairly crappy little studio apartment. The toilet leaked and the walls were paper thin, but it was cheap and I didn't have roommates. When I left there so that I could live with my husband, I packed up, moved out, and never thought I'd look back.Ā
But now, after 11 years of mostly happy marriage, I occasionally think about that crappy apartment with a bit of fondness. It wasn't great, but it was all mine. No picking up after anyone else, no sharing the remote control, and no negotiating over the correct temperature for the thermostat. Good times.
I shared my memory with some friends, and it turns out that almost all of us sometimes miss the single life, even if we love our partners. Click on to find out what married women miss the most. Names withheld to prevent hurt husband feelings!
Image via iStock.com/oneinchpunch
All By Myself
"Being alone. I miss that like crazy. I just spent the weekend at a hotel by myself and it was heaven."
Potty Privacy
"I miss being alone. I miss not having to consider another person (or people), at least not as significantly, when I make a decision. I miss really feeling like I have an identity that is completely my own. I also miss not having to give someone status updates anytime I do anything, including going upstairs to use the bathroom."
Space Dreams
"I miss having my own bed and my own room and my own space to decorate however I want. I want a girly bedroom!"
Clean Times
"I miss having my house clean and not having to spend an hour every day just keeping track of sh*t! If I picked it up, it stayed picked up! Everything had its place."
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What I Want
"I miss being alone. Not having to account for my time and having truly 'free' time. Eating what I want when I'm hungry and not planning around someone else. Needing to check with him when making decisions or scheduling."
Missed Out
"I'd say it's less of a 'miss' than 'missed out on': finding my way on my own. I think I've always had someone else around to rely on: first my parents, then boyfriends, one of whom is now my husband. I love the security of having someone to rely on, but I wonder if I'm too reliant."
Quiet, Please
"I miss quiet. No one constantly talking, either to me or around me."
Hot Times
"I miss hot, new, trying-to-impress-each-other sex. The real intimacy of marriage or long-term-partner sex can be wonderful, but damn was it easier to do it sometimes with no strings attached!"
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My Friends
"I miss having me time and time to hang out with my friends, just girls."
The Pursuit
"I miss being pursued. The 'new' part of dating. We've been together almost 12 years, married for 9.5, and while it's nice to be familiar with each other, I miss the romance and fun factor of dating."
My Mom
"I miss my mom. We used to complete each other's sentences. Understand each other without talking. Now I sort of have that with my husband after 18 years together, but it's not the same."
Escape
"I miss being able to pack up and uproot my life. I think I have an escapist mind as a coping mechanism, but I always liked drastic changes and moving to new places. I lived [in]Ā Colorado to California to Costa Rica to Washington and then to Minnesota from age 18-24. Now I've been here for fice years and I have a job and kids and mortgage and I feel so frickin' antsy but I can't uproot the entire family as easily as when it was just me."
Miss the New
"I don't really miss being single. I do, however, miss the new part of dating. We were out at a bar with a bunch of friends over the weekend, and he didn't really pay attention to me. You know, because it's been five years, and we love each other, etc. But I miss the part where he would have been trying to make sure I was having a good time. I miss the new part. I get that there's so much good stuff we have now that we didn't have then, but I miss it."
First Dates
"I love being not single, for the most part. It's way less stressful! I do sometimes miss the newness and excitement of going on first dates, especially when my single friends talk about theirs."
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