We love the start of a new year. It can be a great time to set some new goals, to declutter the house after the holidays, and to feel like there is a chance for a bit of a fresh start. What we don't like, however, is the relentlessness of all the advertising and pressures of diet culture this time of year. Online, on TV, or even with friends, it seems as if there's almost no end to the number of companies and people that want to make money from telling women they need to lose weight.
That is not the vibe we are going for these days! Although everyone is entitled to make the choices that feel best for their body, there is a growing amount of real, scientific evidence that diets just don't work for long-term, sustainable weight loss. Even worse, some diets can be dangerous and promote all sorts of unhealthy habits. We're skipping the diet pressure this year and have 17 stories from other moms about the dumbest diets they ever did to remind us exactly why diets are so out for 2024.
More from CafeMom: The Surprising Science That Proves Dieting Is Bad for Our Mental Health
Meat Salads and Constipation
"I tried going super hard core keto. I was avoiding veggies and having 'meat salads' for lunch. It was so dumb. I got so constipated I ended up going to the ER because I was in so much pain. Dumb, expensive, and embarrassing." – Katie B., Tennessee
Cabbage Soup Farts
"My mom and I did the cabbage soup diet when I was a kid (um, thanks for the future eating disorder, mom!) and it was the worst. We basically replaced nearly all our meals with cabbage soup. It stank, we stank, the house stank, just everything. So many farts. It was awful." – Mary G., Michigan
Intermittent Fasting or Eating Disorder?
"I did intermittent fasting and then realized that I was basically just replicating the habits I had when I had an eating disorder in my teens. That much restriction was a major ED trigger for me. I’m anti-diet now and so much happier." – Dasha R., New York
More from CafeMom: 15 Moms on How They Stopped Dieting & Made Peace With Their Bodies
Keto Fog
"I tried keto for about three to four weeks and by the third week I felt so awful. Tired, sluggish, in a fog, would get head rushes when I stood up. That's when I learned that when doing keto you need to take electrolyte supplements, otherwise you can start feeling sick like I was. I don't know how anyone can think a diet that requires you to take supplements is balanced, healthy, or sustainable." – Sarah F., Arizona
Pancake Fantasies
"I tried to do a low-carb diet. I made it five days and then started having graphic fantasies about pancakes. It made me so food obsessed. What a waste of time, especially now that I know that diets only work if you are willing to stay on them forever. I’m not willing to live a life without pancakes." – Jamie J., New Mexico
So Dumb
"Honestly, Noom was so dumb. All the quizzes and stuff were basically like 'Hey, do you know apples are better for you than ice cream?' Tracking all my food just made me feel obsessive and I didn’t learn a dang thing that I didn’t already know." – Jessie W., Michigan
MLM Madness
"I got guilted into trying some dumb meal replacement shakes from my sister-in-law’s MLM company. The only thing I lost was money and respect from my SIL for being part of one of those shady companies and trying to get me to join on some autopay nonsense. Those things tasted so gross!" – Renee F., Minnesota
Losing Dignity Not Pounds
"I fell for some diet tea stuff that all the influencers were peddling. It was basically just a laxative and I ended up accidentally pooping my pants at work, so all I really lost was my dignity." – Olivia T., California
Almost Fired Because of a Juice Cleanse
"I almost got fired when I was doing a juice cleanse diet. All I could think about was solid food and I turned into a space cadet. I kept making dumb mistakes at work, including miscounting money in the cash drawer three times. My boss thought I was on drugs and stealing. Nope. Just starving." – Annie E., Minnesota
Dumb College Diet
"When I was in college, my roommate and I decided to lose our 'freshman 15' by going on a 500-1,000-1,500 calorie diet. Monday: 500 calories, Tuesday: 1,000 calories, etc. That isn’t a diet … that is an eating disorder! And we’d end up drinking all of our calories on the weekend and that was NOT GOOD. I'm surprised my liver survived." – Carrie W., Texas
Weigh Down Diet
"Does anyone know about the Weigh Down Workshop? It was sort of a diet mixed with a Christian cult. It messed me up, because it made me feel like God was mad at me every time I binged, which happened after I restricted myself too much. It took years of therapy to recover from it." – Name withheld by request
Bald or Fat?
"Not really dumb, or a diet, I guess, but I did Ozempic for about three months and had to quit. I lost weight (which I’ve totally gained back) but I also lost a ton of hair and was throwing up all the time. It has been a great drug for my husband (who is diabetic) but I decided I’d rather be thick than bald and barfing." – Kim D., Florida
Dizzy Runner
"I did the 1,200 calories a day diet, even though I am 5'9" and was training for a marathon. Definitely lost weight but also got dizzy a lot, got obsessed with food. It was a bad time and I'm still recovering a healthy relationship with food." – Kristen D., Michigan
Junior High Diets
"Two words: Slim Fast. I was in junior high and it was considered SO cool to have Slim Fast at lunch. I can’t believe my mom bought them for me and thought it was a good idea." – Heidi T., Indiana
The Hangry Was Real
"I did the Master Cleanse, the one that you drink lemonade made with maple syrup. It made me insane. I was such a bitch to everyone around me. The hangry was real. I lost like 10 pounds and then gained back 15 when I went back to eating. It took me a long time to realize that this is the deal with ALL diets: I always gain the weight back." – Gayle M., Utah
5-4-3-2-1
"I did the 5-4-3-2-1 diet, which is where every meal has to have: 5 bites of veggies, 4 bites of protein, 3 bites of carbs, and 2 minutes chewing each bite and 1 glass of water. Life is too short to spend that much time chewing." – Mollie O., Arizona
HCG Diet
"I did the HCG diet where you eat 500 calories a day for 26 days and then you slowly reintroduce grains and fats. I fought with my husband all the time, had total brain fog, lost 23 pounds (gained back 30) and developed a thyroid problem I will have for the rest of my life. Good times!" – Name withheld by request
