Both the Academy of American Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend breastfeeding for at least the first six months to a year of a child’s life. In the US, extended breastfeeding is considered anything past the second year. While the practice in the US might be rare — only 15% of babies are still breastfeeding after 18 months — in other parts of the world, it’s customary to go well beyond two years.
But how long before "beyond" becomes abnormal? 4? 5?! While breast milk doesn’t lose its nutritional value throughout the duration of breastfeeding, in many western cultures, breastfeeding past a certain age is frowned upon, sexualized, and even deemed abusive by some. One new mother in the UK recently shared her concerns about the fact that her 8-year-old niece might still be breastfeeding, and she has a good reason why.
A mother said her niece has been behaving strangely when she sees her breastfeed her infant son.
On the Mumsnet forum, a mother wondered if she was being unreasonable in her concerns about her niece’s gets her nutrition. The original poster had a baby six months ago and is breastfeeding.
In the six months since she’s had her child, her 8-year-old niece has been over to visit and witnessed the feedings. Her subsequent behavior has made the original poster uncomfortable.
Her niece climbed into her lap and bit her!
“[My niece] keeps trying to kiss [my son] on the cheek while he is latched on and I gently asked her not to while he is busy,” the OP explained. “She did this on a few visits. Another time she was pretending to be [darling son] and jumped on my lap in a breastfeeding position and actually bit my boob!”
Naturally, the behavior was alarming. But the OP’s niece said something that may have explained this strange behavior.
After the niece said she was going to have some of her mom's 'booby milk,' she wondered if the girl was still breastfeeding.
“Before her sibling arrived [my niece] has asked if she can have some milk, which I have said no to which she questioned and told me ‘mummy's going to let me,’" the girl told the OP. “[My sister in law, my niece’s mom] has just had her second baby a week ago and has been in hospital. Yesterday [my niece] said she couldn't wait to see her so she can have more ‘booby milk.’ Now I understand being curious and trying a bit, but honestly I think she's meaning full on breastfeeding.”
The OP believes her niece has been weaned for five to six years and the thought of her breastfeeding again makes her uneasy. Even though she and her sister-in-law aren't particularly close, she wants to find out if her niece is drinking pumped milk or is still drinking from the breast.
Mumsnet users agreed breastfeeding an 8-year-old is weird.
Many of the users on Mumsnet believe it is unusual to be breastfeeding an 8-year-old.
“To me breast milk is meant to feed babies, what's she going to do, keep on until this kid is an adult?" one user wrote. Weird imo!”
Another person even suggested that this is a matter for child protection services. Others said that while the behavior is unusual it isn’t the OP’s place to try and determine if her niece is still nursing.
“As long as your niece doesn't want to feed from your boob (to which you just say no) file this under ‘not my business,’” one commenter advised.
Others believed this new mom should mind her business.
We tend to agree. If she wants to have a conversation with her sister-in-law, the OP should focus on boundaries alone by reiterating the fact that when she’s breastfeeding her son, the 8-year-old needs to stay away. She cannot and should not be biting anyone’s breast — not her mother’s and certainly not her aunt’s.
Having this chat would let her sister-in-law know that she knows her niece is still drinking breast milk in one way or another, and then she can volunteer whatever information she chooses, which may or not satisfy her curiosity or address any of her concerns.
