A single mom who goes by Maddie Joy @mountainm0mma on TikTok has gone viral for sharing that she and her best friend made a pact to get divorced and move in together. The mom called it a “wonderfully non-traditional family” and said it is allowing them to “heal together." The video has received over 10 million views and more than 7,000 comments. Many TikTok users have called this living situation “the dream!” but others are more skeptical.
Multi-family households are common in other cultures and often provide a built-in support system for moms and parents. These kinds of arrangements have been growing in popularity in recent years. According to a 2019 survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau and the American Housing Survey, 31.4% of housing in the U.S. are multifamily or 43.9 million residences, per the National Association of Home Builders. Typically though, those situations involve blood relatives and other extended family members.
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Only one in the friendship pair has children but says it's still a great living arrangement for all involved.
Maddie posted the now viral TikTok with the text overlay, “It is what it is. My best friend and I made a pact, both got divorced, moved in together, and now, she meal preps our lunches for the work week, I clean the kitchen, and we’re raising a wonderfully non-traditional family while we all heal together.”
Honestly, this sounds like a pretty wonderful living situation and a more equitable relationship than most marriages. In response to some comments asking about the friends' parenting styles, Maddie revealed that she is the only one with kids so there are not any disputes concerning how the children are being raised.
One commenter asked, “Is it hard raising your kids parallel? Do they get along? Is it hard not having the same parenting styles?” To which Maddie replied, “That being said, we have very similar philosophies when it comes to children and it's super duper helpful to have another set of eyes, ears, and hands around.”
Being a single parent is hard, and moving in with your best friend is a great solution.
Maddie used the hashtag #platonicsoulmate and #platoniclifepartner in the caption of her TikTok video, showing that supportive relationships don’t necessarily have to be romantic in order to be worthwhile and meaningful. Recent studies have shown more women who are Millennials or Gen Z are rejecting traditional stereotypes for women, per Women’s Health, just like Maddie and her BFF.
Why wait for a man to step in and step up when you can raise kids with your best friend? More power to Maddie and her platonic soulmate!
Maddie posted a follow-up video of her and her bestie enjoying a cup of tea together reading through all the comments and laughing at them, and the comments on this video totally passed the vibe check.
As one user wrote, “Dude this is awesome. Y’all are gunna help each other more than living with a man again lol. Even if they are great. Us Women just know what to do lol.”
“Note to ladies: don't forget your best friend when you get married," another person commented. "We always need our friends.”
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Platonic partnerships are on the rise.
More women are embracing this idea of “platonic love” and “platonic soulmates” or life partners for many different reasons. Professor and author of an upcoming book Marissa G. Franco shares about the rise of platonic partnerships and why more women may be seeking them out.
“We know that women tend to do more chores and more of the emotional labour when they’re married, so with the way things are set up right now, marriage is not actually fair towards women in heterosexual partnerships," she said, according to Dazed. "I think now women are challenging that narrative based on their life experience.”
Others have noted nonromantic relationships also challenge the idea of what is most important in a relationship and are often very empowering in that sense. As Nadia Addesi, a psychotherapist who shares about relationships on TikTok said, “PLPs raise an interesting question about what elements are most important in a marriage. They’re empowering because they allow people to have more options when reflecting on what they want for themselves and their future, and the opportunity to prioritize values and friendship over romantic love. It’s no longer a ‘one size fits all’ solution,” per i-D.
Some TikTokers celebrated the friends choosing to defy societal norms but others criticized the idea.
Most TikTok users responded with support, applauding Maddie and her BFF’s pact and decision to live together and co-parent, whereas others comments seemed to miss the whole point of the video.
“Are you sure you aren't a lesbian?” one person wrote.
“Congratulations you’re a lesbian now,” another person commented.
But others commented in support of the pair.
“Gosh I bet your kids are thriving. I always felt safe surrounded by my mother and her gals,” one person wrote.
“My mom did this with her best friend when I was a kid. The best years of my childhood," someone else chimed in. "It taught me soulmates aren’t always what we are told they are.”
“I think this is going to become more common tbh,” another person added.
