Suffering the loss of a child is a pain no parent should have to face. By itself, that grief is a horrid burden, but when it is paired with a staggering lack of support, it can be crushing. Sadly one mom on Reddit is experiencing just that. The original poster recently asked fellow Redditors if she was wrong for cutting off her mother-in-law who accuses the mom of killing her own daughter.
AITA for cutting off my MIL after she said I killed my daughter?
byu/AITA-BrazoriaC-MIl inmotherinlawsfromhell
“My husband and I recently lost our baby girl,” she began. “It was devastating and something we’re still processing. Even before this tragedy, my MIL and I had a very strained relationship. She constantly referred to our baby as ‘my baby’ — never ‘your daughter’ or ‘your child.’ It always made me uncomfortable, but I tried to keep the peace for my husband’s sake. She also repeatedly told my husband to leave me, even while I was pregnant. On top of that, she would frequently ask him for money — even though we were trying to save up for our daughter’s future and medical expenses.”
She then went on to say that every time she and her husband set some sort of boundary, the MIL would cross it. After her daughter died, things got even worse. The grieving mom claimed that the MIL began calling her family members and telling them then that she killed her daughter.
“Which is absolutely false, cruel, and has only made our grief even harder to bear,” the mom said. “I can’t describe how much that hurt. After this, I told my husband I couldn’t have any contact with her. I blocked her, and I no longer go to any family events where she’s present.”
But her husband and family do not support her decision. A few extended family members even told her she is being dramatic and to forgive her MIL and “move on.” And evidently, her husband feels “torn” about what to do.
Redditors did not hold back on their criticism of her MIL … or her husband.
“I can’t understand being torn when your mother does something that [expletive] evil,” replied one user. “I think you’re well within your rights to demand he goes no contact with her too.”
“A normal, loving mother would be kind, compassionate, and supportive to you both,” noted another. “His mother is taking your grief, and using it to tell horrible lies about you to other people, trying to control how they see you. If she loved her son, she would be respecting his grief, not trying to use it to get control over him. I hope he can see how horrible this really is. It’s also an attack on him, trying to use HIS grief, and twist it to drive the two of you apart.”
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