There is a lot of research and thought that goes into choosing a baby name. Most of us don't have one on the ready in our back pocket and if we're parenting with another person, we have to come to an agreement together on just one name. It's not an easy process and when we've chosen what we think is the perfect name, we grow attached to it quickly — and can get possessive of the name. That's the issue one family has found itself in — fighting over the same baby name.
A woman took to Reddit's AITA community to get input from strangers on a situation centered around a baby name.
The anonymous mom went to the community with a situation she's found herself in with her college-age son and his girlfriend. "I had my son fairly young and I recently had a change of life baby," she explained. "When I was four months pregnant my son, who was in college at the time told me that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant," she added.
OP went on to admit that she "wasn't very happy" that her son and girlfriend had a baby on the way, but felt it was important to support them. She says she has been doing so and has also "given them a lot of financial assistance."
OP had her baby recently -- a happy baby girl -- and she gave her the name Clara.
And that is where all the trouble started. Apparently, there was issue with the name Clara. "My son's girlfriend went ballistic," the new mom said. "She said they were going to name their daughter Clara and that I should have consulted with them (umm I got pregnant first, but whatever)."
OP said she told her son's girlfriend that she "needs to grow up and that she doesn't own the name." Her son then stepped in and asked if she would consider changing Clara's name.
"I said no and he stormed out of the house," she wrote.
According to OP's telling of the story, her daughter-in-law tried to pressure her to change Clara's name.
"They told me the other day they are going to name their daughter Paxtyn," OP said. "I guess I made a face and she started yelling at me that it is my fault, because I stole the only name she likes. I even asked her if she likes the name Paxtyn and she said she is going to like it when I have to tell my friends I have a granddaughter named Paxtyn," she continued.
"So she pretty much said she hates me more than she loves her daughter," OP assumed.
Her son then gave her an ultimatum -- trying to force her to change the name of her daughter.
"My son said I have two months to fix this (change Clara's name)," OP noted. "I told them that they are both idiots, and I feel bad for their future child."
She then hit back with her own ultimatum about her granddaughter's name. "I also said if they name their daughter Paxtyn just to be spiteful I will not give them any further assistance," the grandmother-to-be said.
"My son called me up and said I was being controlling, but when I asked him if he actually likes the name he hung up," she wrote.
OP posted an edit in the post later to clarify that her son and DIL didn't tell her before her daughter was born that they were going to choose the name Clara for their child.
OP asked the community if she was TA for threatening to "financially cut off my son over a baby name?"
Overall, OP was deemed to not BTA and she received hundreds of comments of support from the community.
"NTA they have no claim to the name," one person wrote. "You can name your child whatever you choose. Are they planning on making everyone with that name change it? And if they're 'responsible' enough to have a child, they should be perfectly capable of supporting themselves without your help financially."
"Wait, what? You had a daughter and named her," a second commented. "Your son's gf wants the name for her unborn child. Your son gave you an ultimatum to change your daughter's name. No. NTA. Your son doesn't seem mature enough to live on his own, less parent a child."
"NTA. He and his girlfriend are being ridiculous," wrote another. "If they really are choosing a name to spite you, while also treating you rudely, I don't blame you for wanting to cut him off financially. That said, from a practical perspective, cutting him off may mean you'll never meet your granddaughter, so consider things carefully. Is there a compromise everyone could reach, like he'd name his daughter 'Clarissa' or something close but still distinct?"
One person commented saying all parties here are wrong. "This entire situation is incredibly petty and spiteful. You all should grow up and have a conversation instead of escalating everything into catastrophe," the commenter wrote. "OP you can't say they're wrong for taking issue with your choice of name and then turn around and take issue with theirs to the point of cutting them off. YTA"
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
