When a loved one gets a medical diagnosis, it can be difficult sharing that news with young children. Some parents who are worried about how a loved one’s diagnosis could affect their children might try to protect them by withholding information, but experts say kids will likely notice something is wrong. The question of what to share with young children after a family member’s diagnosis is something that Emma Heming Willis has navigated. In February 2023, Bruce Willis’ family released a statement that said the actor was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia.
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Emma Heming Willis said she hasn't 'sugarcoated' anything.
During an interview published in Town & Country magazine on October 29, Katie Couric asked Emma Heming Willis, 46, how she has explained Bruce’s diagnosis to their children, Mabel, 12, and Evelyn, 10. For Emma, getting an accurate diagnosis was an important step. In spring 2022, Bruce Willis’ family announced that he had been diagnosed with aphasia. Later, his condition progressed and he received a more specific diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia.
Learning about FTD made it easier for Emma to explain to their children what was happening. “I’ve never tried to sugarcoat anything for them,” she said. “They’ve grown up with Bruce declining over the years. I’m not trying to shield them from it.”
A therapist told Emma that 'if children ask questions, they’re ready to know the answer.'
When deciding what to share with their children, Emma learned an important lesson from her family’s therapist: “If children ask questions, they’re ready to know the answer.” “If we could see that Bruce was struggling, I would address it with the kids so they could understand,” Emma told the magazine.
However, because there is no cure for FTD, there are certain topics that Emma doesn’t like to talk about with their kids. “This disease is chronic, progressive, and terminal. There is no cure,” Emma said. “Obviously, I don’t like to speak about the terminal side of this with them, nor have they asked. They know that Daddy’s not going to get better.”
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She also considers what Bruce would want for their family.
Although Emma said that her “grief can be paralyzing” in a previous Instagram post, navigating life after Bruce’s diagnosis has pushed her to get involved in advocating and raising awareness. The disease is often “misdiagnosed” and “misunderstood,” she said.
“There is no treatment, which is why I’m out there raising awareness, so that they can see that we have some agency in this,” she explained. “I’m not going to allow FTD to take our whole family down. Bruce wouldn’t want that.”
She added that “this is not the opportunity that I would want, but it’s the opportunity that’s been presented.” Raising awareness could also impact their children. “We’ve been able to raise awareness on a global scale, and [our kids] could see the reach and impact that their father has,” she said.
Bruce's adult children have been a great support system for Emma.
In addition to the two young daughters Bruce shares with Emma, he is also dad to three adult children, whom he shares with ex-wife Demi Moore. Emma said she is “so thankful that we are this blended family” because Bruce’s adult children, Rumer Willis, 36, Scout LaRue Willis, 33, and Tallulah Willis, 30, are “very supportive, very loving, and very helpful.”
“If I need to vent, if I need to cry, if I need to rage — because all of that can happen and it’s okay to have those feelings — they are always there to listen,” Emma told Town & Country.
On her 15th wedding anniversary, Emma said she had 'a choice:' 'I can wallow in sorrow or I can celebrate it.'
Dealing with a partner’s diagnosis and being a caregiver can come with numerous emotions, many of which are not positive. Speaking to Town & Country, Emma admitted she and Bruce “had so many plans, so many beautiful things we wanted to do with our girls, so many things that we wanted to experience together.” But she is still trying to focus on the positive things in her life, too.
On March 21, Emma celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary. On Instagram, she explained why she chose to celebrate: “Today, I can make a choice. I can wallow in sorrow or I can celebrate it. I call this the ‘remarkable reframe.’ What I know is there is so much to celebrate. Our union and connection is probably stronger than ever. We have two bright, fun and healthy daughters. We have a family unit that is built on mutual respect and admiration. And simply, I just love and adore the man I married.”