Forget the Academy Awards! Here's a more fun awards ceremony we can all really appreciate. At the recent Sexual Health Expo (SHE) held in Los Angeles, props were given to "the very best of products designed for a healthy sex life" — ie, sex toys you should run out and buy pronto.
Without further ado, here are the night's big winners. (Just in case, you know, you have a friend who's interested.)
Is it just us or does #6 remind you of compostable kitchenware?
Image © iStock.com/FDS111
Best Luxury Sex Toy
Well, here's a product for a very niche market. The Pino(TM) is "designed for bankers." (Does no one make sex toys for refrigerator repairmen?) For $159, you'll get a vibrating couples' ring with ten stimulation modes, plus silver cufflinks and a money clip.
Best Sex Toys for Couples
This little toy's certainly eager to please. It's a clitoral and G-spot stimulator and has a wireless remote and six vibration modes. It also has whisper-quiet motors, but by the sound of it, you won't be distracted by any background noise. Upgrade to the We-Vibe 4 Plus ($149) and you also get a smart phone app!
Best Sex Toy for Women
If the reviews on Amazon are any indication, Vibratex's Magic Wand ($53.95) should win the lifetime sex award. No bells and whistles here, just two efficiently strong vibrations.
More From The Stir: 3 Tips For Using the Legendary 'Magic Wand' Sex Toy
Best Sex Toy for Men
Is it sexist to laugh at the idea that men need a "masturbator tool"? Well, probably. The Flight Pilot ($69.99) is designed to make men think they're buying an aircraft: It has an "aerodynamic design," is "turbulently pleasurable," and has canal width changes that promise to have the user "soaring to new heights."
Most Innovative Sex Toy
See, it's really true — size isn't everything. Hello Touch ($79) is the smallest fingertip vibrator on the market, but apparently provides three times the power to any body part you want.
Best Eco-Friendly Sex Toy
Just because you use sex toys doesn't mean you still can't be eco-conscious. Not only do the pretty green vibrators in BMS Factory's LEAF line (which range between $42.80 to $56.99 on Amazon) have rechargeable batteries and come in a natural canvas tote, but they're each modeled after "naturally occurring shapes" — which as far as we can tell means pea pods and helicopter leaves.
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Best Sexual Health Product for Men
The Prograsm Jr. ($49.95) apparently gives your man the best prostate massage ev-ah. We wonder if it also won an award for being the most Sex Toy-ish Looking Sex Toy.
Best Sexual Health Product for Women
It doesn't quite seem fair. Men get a big imposing prostate massager, women get a delicate bottle of pjur med REPAIR glide, a water-based personal lubricant ($17.99). But hey, it's supposed to be "regenerative," which sounds all sexy and like.
Best Sex Enhancement Product
And although this seems rather anti-climactic, Pjur Original ($24.95) is the best-selling silicone lubricant in the world. Enough said.
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