One night, when I was 25 years old, I went to a new friend's housewarming party. At the party, I met Michael and was instantly attracted. He was smart and funny and so good-looking. It wasn't until later that I realized he was also 43 years old. Even though I liked him right away, there was a big part of me that wondered if I could really date someone that much older than I was.
Spoiler alert: We've been married for 11 years now.
So, yes, it turns out that I could get on board with dating someone 17 years my senior. And although there are moments when I feel our age difference more than others, for us, it is generally a non-issue.
That isn't always the case, however, as some couples find that the generational gaps are just too big to overcome. Read on for 10 stories of what being in a relationship with a big age gap is really like.
Image via iStock.com/Jan-Otto
Too Weird
"I was dating a really great woman who was 12 years older than me. It was my first relationship with another woman and in a lot of ways, it was like she was my lesbian mentor! But then I felt like our dynamic fell into this almost mother/daughter or big sister routine. She was always giving me advice and I felt like she didn't see me as an equal or like a real adult since I still lived with roommates. It just got too weird." — Casey J., Oakland, California
Race the Clock
"My husband is 11 years older than I am, and I think the biggest impact that our age difference had on us was the speed of our relationship. We got engaged and married within a year of starting dating, and we started working on having a family right away, largely because he was already in his 40s. If I had married someone my own age, I would probably have wanted to have a few years of just us before having kids, but — well, I guess you are racing the clock a little when you marry someone older." — Heather R., Fort Collins, Colorado
Tick Tock
"I work in an industry where most of the people I work with are younger than me, so I've ended up dating several guys who are still in their 20s. It can be fun, but as a 39-year-old, I finally made a rule that I'm only dating guys older than me. I want to have a baby in the next two years and I can't wait for someone who is still growing up himself." — Tonya Y., Minneapolis, Minnesota
More from CafeMom: Marrying Someone Your Own Age Cuts Your Chance of Divorce, Says New Study
Dating Younger
"My boyfriend is 14 yeas younger than me. We are having lots of fun (and lots of sex, just saying!) but I'm not sure we are a long-term fit. He says he doesn't care about our age difference, but I'm not convinced he won't decided he does want to have kids someday and I'm past that point in my life. But I'm just trying to enjoy the moment with him, however long it lasts." — DeeDee P., San Antonio, Texas
Learn New Things
"I like dating older guys! Most of the men I've dated have been between five and ten years older than me. Dating someone older gives you both the chance to learn new things. My current partner is 12 years older. I taught him surfing, and he is teaching me about financial stuff since I'm trying to buy my first house. It is beneficial both ways!" — Jessie R., San Diego, California
Parent Pressure
"I'm pretty sure I broke my mom's heart when I started dating my ex, who was 23 years older than me. He was closer in age to them than he was to me! We didn't make it for a variety of reasons, but I can't lie — the fact that my parents weren't on board was a part of it." — Shelly A., Ankeny, Iowa
More from CafeMom: 20 Celebrity Couple With a Huge Age Difference Between Them
Gold Digger?
"The most annoying thing about being in a 'May/December' relationship is that everyone assumes I am a gold digger. My husband is financially successful, that is true. But I also work and make my own money. I love him for a lot of reasons, but his bank account isn't even in the top 10." — Karen V., Laguna Hills, California
Myths
"Sometimes I'm shocked by the questions that people think are okay to ask me about my relationship, just because Tom is older than me. Like, people ask if he is taking Viagra! SO RUDE.
For the record, our sex life is awesome and no drugs are required. I'm also not a gold digger nor do I have daddy issues. He doesn't want a trophy wife. We are just two people who love each other." — Annie E., Tucson, Arizona
The Challenge
"My husband and I have a 26-year age difference and have been married for 22 years, so we are a success story! I actually think our biggest age-related challenges are happening now. He is retired and I am still 18 years away from being retirement age and that is a source of tension and frustration sometimes.
He also fought cancer a few years ago and that aged him so now he really looks older than me so I feel like we get more looks than we used to. Our youngest child is going into middle school and people think it is sweet that her "grandfather" takes her to school, which I think embarrasses her. So that is tough for both of them." — Anna N., Des Moines, Iowa
No Thanks
"Love is love, so whatever floats your boat, but after dating a much older guy — 13 years — I'm going to stick to guys in my own age range. I feel like it's just easier when you aren't always having to like explain pop culture stuff or deal with people wondering why you are together." — Kelsey J., Grand Rapids, Michigan
