In high school, my best friend was Sarah. In high school, I dated Ian, Bobby, Charles, Marco, and Aaron. Sarah dated Jason. In college, I dated — well, let's just say I dated. And Sarah dated Jason. When they were 22, Sarah and Jason got married. They've now been married 16 years and have been together for over two decades.
Sarah and Jason have three kids now, and I really can't imagine they'll ever split up. They've literally grown up with each other and basically represent the best possible outcome from marrying a first and only love. They are a true high school sweetheart success story.
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But for every Sarah and Jason out there, there are more young couples who marry their high school sweetheart and don't end up with the happy ending they were hoping for. For any of us who've been in long relationships, it is pretty tough to imagine being married to any of the people we dated before turning 18. We spoke with 11 women (who wished to remain anonymous) who married their high school sweetheart and found that young love simply wasn't built to last.
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The Mistake
"Brian and I were each other's firsts, for EVERYTHING. Kissing, dating, sex, all of it. Our families loved each other and when we got engaged at 19, everyone was so excited.
"But I'm 24 now and I think I've made a huge mistake. I still love Brian, but I feel like I missed out on the chance to do a lot of stuff. I'd like to live somewhere else or go to college. Brian is set on living down the street from his parents for the rest of our lives. I feel trapped."
People Change
"People change a lot between 18 and 25. I was 22 when I married my high school boyfriend. By 26, I knew it was a mistake. I was just changing and realizing I wanted a different kind of life. It all came to a head when I decided to get a tattoo. He freaked out and I realized that we just were changing in opposite directions. We're divorced now and it is for the best."
Kiss Goodbye
"I'm still married to my high school sweetheart, but it isn't like a magical fairy-tale thing. We went through a lot of hard times and we barely survived becoming parents when we were in our early 20s.
"I'll be totally honest — we've both cheated. We've talked about having an open marriage but we aren't totally there yet. I think the cheating happened because neither of us got to sow any wild oats when we were younger."
Stuck
"I married my high school sweetheart, we have two kids, and I feel totally stuck. I love him but I wish I had dated a little more and seen more of the world before settling down."
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The Cliché
"My story is such a cliché. I got pregnant in high school, our parents pressured us to get married, we did and then got divorced by the time we were 23. I don't think people should be allowed to get married until they are 25. Young kids are just not mature enough for marriage."
Military Wife
"My high school boyfriend enlisted in the army right after graduation in 2002, inspired by the events of 9/11. It was part young love and part patriotism that made me say yes when he proposed before he deployed.
"I was 18 when I got married and I had NO IDEA what being a military wife would be like. It is hard and lonely and I missed out on a lot of the fun of being young. I still love him, but knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have said yes that early."
Shotgun Wedding
"I had a shotgun wedding when I was only 16! This was almost 40 years ago now and that is what you did when you got pregnant in high school.
"We stayed married for over 20 years. But when the kids left the house and it was just us — well, we didn't really have any reason left to stay married. Our life had been raising kids. I lost the first half of my life to being his wife. The second half of life is for me."
So Young
"My husband and I met when we were 10 and started dating at 13! What is crazy is that we have five kids now and the oldest is the age we are when we started liking each other. I look at the boys she knows now and I can't imagine her marrying one of them! My marriage is okay, but I want my kids to live a little more before settling down than I did."
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Breakup Insurance
"Here is a dumb thing I did: my high school boyfriend and I were crazy in love but planning to go to different colleges. We impulsively eloped the day after we graduated as breakup insurance. We figured that if we were married, we'd be able to make it as a long-distance couple. We didn't even tell our parents.
"You know how this ends, right? We were over before we graduated from college. My parents were SO PISSED when I told them that I was married and that I needed to borrow some money so I could get divorced."
Virgin Bride
"My boyfriend and I met at a Christian high school and went to Christian college together. We got married our junior year of college, partially because we were having a hard time not having sex and were determined to be virgins until marriage.
"Turns out getting married so you can have sex is a pretty terrible idea. The fun of getting to have sex wears off and then you are just 22 and wondering why you settled down so young."
Nothing to Say
"I'm only 30 and I've been with my husband for over half my life! He is a good guy but I feel like we've grown apart as we've grown up. We don't really talk much anymore, except about the kids. There is nothing left to say, really. We've exhausted all topics of conversation in 17 years together."
