When it comes to our sexual histories, we usually think of losing our virginity as the most important "first time" to remember. But for many women, there is another first time that might be even more fun to remember — the first time they reached orgasm.
I don't have any stats to back this up, but I strongly suspect that for most of us, the first time we had sex and the first time we reached orgasm were NOT the same.
Yes, I may be speaking from personal experience here.
Whether it happened all alone or with a partner who knew just what to do, I coaxed 11 women to tell me what they remember about the first "O" and how it changed how they thought about sex and themselves. Once I promised them they could stay anonymous, they opened up with some sweet, surprising, and even a little sexy memories. Read on — you might even find yourself a bit inspired!
The Unicorn
"I'm the unicorn — I had my first orgasm on my wedding night, which is also when I lost my virginity!
Background: I'm not a Duggar, but I'm basically from that same kind of family. I'm one of eight kids, I grew up in the south as Southern Baptist, and my husband and I met in Sunday School. We got married at 19 and 20 and didn't do anything but kiss until we were married.
When it came to the wedding night, I was so nervous. I was so worried about it hurting that I really didn't even think about the whole orgasm thing. That wasn't even like on my radar.
But my husband was determined that he wouldn't have one until I did — 'ladies first,' he said. He had apparently read a book about Christian marriage and totally committed to trying oral sex. It was surprising and great. I felt like it was God's reward for us being willing to wait."
Bath Time
"My first was in the shower likely in middle school/early high school. My next door neighbor (one year older) told me about letting the water pour over her in the bath.
I gave it a try until my dad said our water bill was too high, so I had to cut my shower time down."
Bad Boyfriend, Good Sex
"I stayed in a bad relationship for WAY longer than I should have because the sex was so good. He was gifted at oral and gave me my first 'O' the second time we had sex.
Our chemistry was amazing, but he was unkind in lots of other ways. I cringe now that I stayed so long with someone who was mean to me a lot, but I do credit him for helping me figure out what I like in bed. I'm more sexually confident now."
Thanks, Mom!
"My mom, who is the coolest, gave me a vibrator when I turned 14. She told me that I should use it every morning before school so I could start the day 'with a clear head' and not be all distracted by being horny. My friends are always shocked by this, but I love that I never had to stress about having an orgasm. I've been able to get off for as long as I've wanted to."
More from CafeMom: 8 Glorious Sexual Fetishes to Try if You're a 'Virgin' (PHOTOS)
No Shame
"I didn't have my first orgasm until I got over my shame about actually being a sexual person. I grew up in an ultra-religious family, so there was lots of stuff about sex being dirty and sinful. It was hard to reconcile that with the fact that I thought about and wanted sex a lot.
I never came in my first marriage. I just couldn't let myself go, and I felt conflicted about it. I was widowed at 26, and when I remarried at 41, my now husband was so patient and helpful about helping me get past the damage done by my upbringing.
I had my first orgasm at 42. Better late than never! Now I can own the fact that I like having sex, and I don't think there should be shame about that."
Late Bloomer
"I didn't have my first 'O' until I discovered the pillow trick when I was 24. It was kind of amazing to be able to do that with my body. It turned out I was like an orgasm ninja — I can get off in less than a minute on my own. Still waiting for my first one with a partner though."
Sand Dunes
"I was in high school and my parents let my boyfriend go camping with our family. We slept in our trailer, and he slept in a tent (obviously), but there were a lot of sand dunes on the way to the beach. I remember looking up into the bright sun when that warm and wonderful feeling made me catch my breath for the very first time."
Sexy Read
"I remember reading a magazine and getting really tingly looking at this model in an ad. I ended up rubbing up against the edge of my mattress and getting off.
That was the first time I had an orgasm and the first time it occurred to me that I might be gay. Thanks, Cindy Crawford!"
50 Shades of Yay
"Mine involved a lot of wine, reading Fifty Shades, and getting familiar with myself! I was 27, it was WAY past time."
More from CafeMom: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Women's Orgasms
Pure Determination
"I struggle with depression and anxiety and have been on medication for that since I was a teen. I'm glad to take the medicine because wanting to die isn't a great way to live, but one of the side effects is that my libido isn't that strong.
My low sex drive has been an issue in relationships before, and I never had an orgasm, either from sex or from masturbating. I just couldn't get there. I kind of gave up — until I met my new boyfriend. Not only is the rest of our relationship great, he is so determined when it comes to my pleasure. He will do oral FOREVER, which is apparently what it takes. I finally had an 'O' last year and it was great!"
Mr. Right
"My husband made it his mission last year to get me to come. Like, he bought all these books about female sexuality and was determined to try whatever it took. When it finally happened (thanks to some enthusiastic oral and three glasses of wine), it was a total team victory. He was strutting like a peacock."
