Is honesty really always the best policy when it comes to our relationships? As it turns out, telling the truth all the time isn't all it's cracked up to be — especially when it comes to keeping the peace between partners. Sometimes, in any relationship, the way to greater harmony and happiness isn't to reveal every single little truth out there. Instead, it's often best to do our partner the service of dialing back the truth a little bit. In our experience, learning to be a good partner means learning how to just bite our tongues over certain truths that can't lead to greater understanding or a more profound relationship — and can only lead to unhappiness. Why bring additional strife into our lives, or make our partners question themselves when it can't lead to any good (and can potentially lead to a lot of harm)? If there's something important to be gained from having an open and honest conversation, then we should, even if it's hard — but if it's just going to be hurtful, why do it?
Instead, consider these 15 most important lies we should tell our significant other if we really want to keep the love alive. Some of these involve little things, such as telling our partner exactly how beautiful they are even if their current look isn't our total favorite (not everyone can always get a super-flattering haircut, but the best thing to do for it is to give them lots of support), whereas others are based around bigger, more emotional concerns. Lying to our partners isn't even the only form of lies we support — take a look at this list of lies to tell daughters, which we challenge any mom to really disagree with. (Same goes for the hilarious and real lies moms tell their kids, big lies moms tell their kid, lies everyone tells, and lies to look like a good mom. Anyone who isn't on board for these is lying to themselves, we're pretty sure). Of course, we're not always down with a lie: Check out the impressive lies children told us. Although we're not exactly going to be support the lies these kids told their parents, we'd be lying if we said that we weren't mad impressed with the little ones' ingenuity.
"This food is so delicious"
Cooking is both a skill and an art form. And when our spouse spends time in the kitchen preparing a meal just for us to enjoy, it's perfectly OK (in fact, it's expected) that we'll not only say "Thanks so much" but also "This is so, so yummy." Anyone who isn't standing at the stove can keep a lid on the culinary criticism.
"I'm married to the most beautiful person in the world"
Even though attraction is often what brings two people together, over time, especially in long-term relationships, we forget to see the physical beauty in a partner. Whether that person is dressed to the nines or on day three of not showering, it's important to affirm to our loved ones that they're the only person we have eyes for.
"This is the best sex I've ever had"
No, we're definitely not telling couples to lie about sexual satisfaction, but we are saying it's OK to praise their partner's bedroom prowess. Telling the person we love that they're the best we've ever had boosts their confidence and will inspire them to keep reaching for the sky.
"I love this gift!"
We've all been on the receiving end of a really bad gift that makes us wonder if our partner actually knows us, right? Even though truly terrible presents can leave us scratching our heads, it's perfectly fine to say "Thanks so much" and "I love it." Why lie? Because sometimes people are just bad at giving gifts and we should honor the thought, not the outcome. (And next time, drop better hints.)
"I don't mind ..."
When it comes to the little stuff — such as wanting an ingredient on a pizza that isn't our favorite or asking us to travel a little bit to make sure that we get to spend some good quality time together — the answer should often be "I don't mind." Yes, even when we do.
"I didn't watch the next episode yet"
If we can get away with pretending we didn't watch the next episode of This Is Us or Catastrophe (or whatever the favorite show to watch together is), then do it. When we admit to the minor infraction that is TV-cheating, all it can do is hurt our partner's feelings. Just make sure nobody checks the digital queue beforehand!
"I'm excited to see the family too!"
When partners tell us the family is coming to town for a visit, just follow their lead. If they seem happy, we should be too — even if we're really cringing inside. Whether our mother-in-law rubs us seven shades of wrong or our brother-in-law refuses to clean up after himself, supporting a spouse by being receptive to the family goes a long way toward keeping the peace.
"That's absolutely true"
When we're listening to our partner vent about a bad day at work and we know they're in the wrong … what do we do? If it's actually not a big deal, let it go and agree. Sometimes spouses just need unconditional support and understanding, even when we know their take on a situation is off. Of course, if they're headed for serious trouble (or crossing one of our personal boundaries), it's important to speak the truth.
"Of course not. That outfit is gorgeous."
Does this even need an explanation? Everyone sometimes thinks they look too big. But body policing is never OK, so don't even talk about a partner's weight unless asked, and even if they do, just tell them they look beautiful. If their weight gain is serious or causing a medical concern, it's OK to broach the subject with love and concern, of course … just not with judgment or scorn. And if the question is just about a dress, just say it looks great.
"That's not annoying"
Maybe our spouse likes to be playful when we'd rather chill. Maybe they want to cuddle when we want to play video games. Although it's always important to respect each other's personal boundaries, if they're giving off the "I'm annoyed" vibe, it's definitely going to sting. So, if our partner asks if they're annoying (and their behavior isn't crossing any lines), just lie. Give them the same love and compassion we'd want if the scenario was reversed.
"That's so funny"
Nothing feels better than making the person we love laugh, but sometimes, our partners aren't all that funny. As long as they're not being crass or offensive, go ahead and laugh. Play along and give them the joy of knowing they made us happy. Besides, it won't kill us to exercise that funny bone once in a while.
"Yes, I'll take the photo"
Yes, it can be super annoying when our partner wants to pose for a photo with … well … what do people pose with these days? A slice of pizza, an ice cream, a cool-looking cocktail, a wall, whatever. But it's a small joy and a free one, so lean in!
"Of course we can go to the party."
Look, we get it — being an introvert and staying the heck home with a good book is awesome. But for introverts who have partners who aren't, it's important to make sure we give them their dose of people time — it's what gives a relationship balance.
"Of course we can leave the party early."
And for anyone on the other side of that relationship coin, it's totally OK to go out and have fun — and to expect a partner to join us, at least sometimes. But it's also really loving and kind of us to not stay out as late as we might want to otherwise.
"I don't mind doing the laundry."
Look, not all the time — unless that's part of the arrangement. But sometimes, when our partner is stressed with work or parents or school or whatever, and needs a break from chores, it's nice to lend a hand, even if that means we're pulling some extra weight that week.
