Getting engaged and planning a wedding can teach you a lot about a person. In fact, sometimes it can reveal a whole lot more about your partner than you ever expected. Most of the time, it's for the best to get these things out in the open before saying "I do." But imagine the surprise of one groom-to-be, whose fiancée told him that it was very important to her for him to get circumcised before the big day — or else.
In an anonymous Reddit post, the groom explained that he's always known his fiancée was a hothead.
In a post that has since been deleted, the 24-year-old man said that got engaged to his 22-year-old fiancée last year, and although they are mostly "pretty solid," there are some points of tension — i.e. his fiancée's temper.
"She gets upset when things don’t go her way and takes it as a personal insult," he explained. "It’s definitely a 'princess' syndrome that can be difficult to deal with but it never caused serious issues."
Little did he know, his fiancée would play hardball with a request she made about his, ahem, nether regions.
In fact, his fiancée told him that he should get circumcised before their wedding later this year. (That's right — she told him; she didn't ask.)
"I said no and she straight up told me that 'it’s not a choice,'" he wrote. "We argued for a bit and she said that I wouldn’t be attracted to her if she had an 'outie' vagina with 'extra skin' hanging (her words, not mine)," he added.
WOAH there.
Even though he pointed out that he would be attracted to her no matter what and that "it’s not really the same thing at all," his girlfriend was still angry.
Unfortunately, his fiancée wasn't about to give up the fight easy.
"Every day she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcision, that it’s totally healthy/safe and why I should do it," he wrote. "She says that 'civilized' men get circumcised and that 'we’re not like those Europeans.' The thing is, she’s mixed race (and half French) and grew up in France so I don’t understand her thought process here," he added.
"Her ex was French but she repeatedly said that she dislikes French people and wants me to be 'better' than that," he went on. "According to her, that includes getting a circumcision."
Things recently hit a boiling point, though. When his fiancée brought up getting snipped one day, the groom simply snapped.
He told her that she has "no right to tell me what to do with my body." Even though his girlfriend pointed out that she spends a lot of time and money on her own appearance (about $800 a month), he argued that "I don’t think you can compare that to a circumcision."
But that only upset his fiancée even more.
"She got very upset, calling me 'selfish' and 'heartless' and basically told me to [expletive] off," he recalled. "Normally when we argue she doesn’t get that heated but I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday."
And then came the threats.
The two ended up having sex later that night, and right in the middle of the action, guess who had an overwhelming urge to talk about circumcision?
"It felt very manipulative and when I told her that this is not the right time, she accused me of not loving her and actually started crying," he wrote. "Since she rarely cries this didn’t seem genuine.
"She got up and told me that 'we' will get this done either way and that I shouldn’t let such a small issue ruin what we have," he added. "To be honest, that sounded ominous and I don’t even know what to think of it."
That's why he brought the question to Reddit: Can they work through these choppy waters? Or is this a total deal breaker?
The man added that it's never been an issue before their wedding, and yet is now suddenly "such a big deal to her."
"It’s giving me anxiety about our future and I don’t even know what to do," he wrote. "We’ve had so many discussions about it and it always ends the same way."
The reaction online was pretty unanimous: This was a serious red flag.
"Don’t let this princess treat you this way, these red flags should be taken seriously," one commenter wrote. "Things will absolutely get worse. You complying with her demands will only make you appear weaker, which will just fuel her crazy."
"She's walking all over you man, no one deserves that," a second person commented. "You know you don't want to be a princess' doormat for the rest of your life."
Another person felt this way about the situation:
"Many people show their true self once they are married. You are among the lucky ones who gets to see it now. You have a chance to walk away. Divorces are expensive and messy."
The groom later wrote that he never had a major issue with his fiancée before, which is why he's so confused by her sudden anger.
In fact, for the most part, he says he's very happy with his fiancée.
"Finally got engaged to my dream girl and now it just feels like everything is going wrong," he wrote. "I just hate the way she’s dealing with it."
But that doesn't mean he is willing to bend. He later wrote that he wouldn't get circumcised unless medically necessary, "which it isn’t in my case." Nor would he be fine with circumcising their children if they had them.
It look like these two are in for several serious talks before heading down the aisle, but the groom seemed definite about one thing: "I’m definitely not getting circumcised."
We gotta say, we're all for him sticking to his guns on this one.
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