No matter how much we love our partners, even the best person can have the secret demons they struggle with. One man found this out for himself when his fiancée broke down in tears and revealed the ugly, horrifying truth — she had a sexual relationship with her twin brother.
As the man explained, his fiancée is pretty much perfect.
In a post on Reddit that has since been deleted, the man shared that it isn't like he and his fiancée rushed into the engagement. They've been together for almost three years, and to date, she's everything a man could want — "driven, smart, beautiful, down to earth and she's really been there for me every single time I needed her."
Every now and then they bicker -- but for the most part they're solid.
In fact, he was so confident in the relationship, that in hindsight he realizes it was probably wrong that he popped the question to his fiancée before talking in depth about marriage.
"But we both knew we wanted to get married and raise a family together so I went in confident that the time was right," he wrote.
He still didn't know why his fiancée was so introspective.
His fiancée has admitted to him in the past that she was "insecure" about marrying him — but he couldn't figure out why. They were perfect together.
That is, until the middle of a Netflix binge when his fiancée finally spilled the beans.
"She started to cry, really cry, and after some coaxing she generously let me know she participated in a sexual relationship of sorts with her brother (same age as her, they are twins) and she didn't feel she could marry me and just never tell me about that," he wrote. "That I had 'some right to know' even though it's in the past."
To say he was shocked isn't even the half of it.
He described the moment she told him as, "it felt like my blood got drained away from my body in a second." He wondered if it was consensual — how could it not be a gross case of abuse?
According to his fiancée, the acts were consensual.
She told him that the whole sordid thing started at 15 when she and her brother were "bantering" over her lack of a first kiss and while "really high on pot" — "which I also never knew she had tried before, as none of us use it."
His fiancée "challenged" her brother to kiss her — "and it started from there."
She and her twin engaged in more sexual acts for over a year.
They continued until people at school started to make jokes about the siblings (it's unclear if other people knew about their relationship or just joked about how close they were) and they decided to "end it and move forward and date other people."
"I don't even really know how long I just sat there in silence and she bawled nonstop," he wrote.
The Original Poster wasn't sure what to do.
How in the world was he going to console her? Heck, should he even to console her?
"I didn't want to touch her — I haven't touch her yet, slept on the couch, I can't bring myself to do it," he wrote.
He did ask her some questions about what happened.
According to his fiancée, she doesn't believes either of them were abused or took advantage of each other — and "they were both each other first times (which honestly may be the thing that grosses me out the most)," he wrote.
After they stopped "dating" each other they never engaged in sexual acts again.
There was no way he would have ever guessed that anything of that sort went down between the two.
"Everyone in their family is kinda connected, she talks to them weekly and they interact on facebook etc," he explained. Her twin is now married with a child, living in a different city, is a stand-up guy, and the two seemed to have a normal relationship.
But now things are different. "Now when I think of his face I just want to bash it in with a bat," he wrote.
At this point, the OP had to walk away because he was "angry and disgusted."
"I don't understand how that could happen and she could be so d–n casual about it," he wrote.
He also can't stop thinking about all the implications of their relationship, either. What would this mean for their future family if they have a child together?
"If we ended up having a son will [fiancée] one day look at him and think it's just fine if they have sex?" he wondered.
Could he ever really be confident that his fiancée and her brother wouldn't sleep together again behind his back?
"Does she actually wanted to be with him, and would have been with him if they could and made a family together, and am I just the stable one with whom she can have kids and hold hands in public like normal people can?" he wrote.
He has no idea what to do.
"It really feels like I'm now living with a different person," he wrote. "I feel like I need someone to tell me what to think and what to feel because I can't make any sense of it myself alone."
He can't bring the issue to his friends because if the two do end up getting married then his friends will know his fiancée's deep, dark secret.
"I don't think I can just live with Kate and know that and act as if it was nothing, let alone marry her," he added. Is there any way to fix things?
People in the comments had one word for the OP:
"Please get both of you into counseling ASAP," one person wrote in the comments. "She needs to figure out why this happened and sort out her feelings about it from that time to now. You need to figure out 1) why this makes you so angry and disgusted (instead of compassionate and sympathetic) and 2) whether this is something you can ever work through. It’s okay if you can’t — it isn’t okay to stay with her and be secretly resentful and disgusted with her the entire time."
"Reddit is crazy unqualified to field this situation," a second person agreed. "Even if you don’t get couple’s therapy, get some for yourself to help sort out your feelings about this. That’s the only way to move forward, even if it’s separately."
"Counseling is what's needed here," a third commenter chimed in. "The thought I also had while reading this is 'Do you want to be judged your whole life by something you did at 15 to16 years old?' This is extreme, to be sure, but I keep reminding myself what a moron I was at that age."
Other people thought that if the OP doesn't want to work through this he should just leave now.
"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," one commenter advised. "If you're not willing to ask her to therapy or counseling so that you can both get the support and help you need, then you may be better off leaving. She didn't ask you to do anything but accept her after she revealed her darkest secret to you. She asked you to protect her. If you love her, but can't protect her, let her go."
"OP if you can’t/won’t look [past] this, then you need to let her go," someone else agreed. "Parting ways is more preferable than the alternative (toxic relationship). You loved her before she told you her past. She is being honest with you about something that happened when she was a kid, and she was a child (15 years old). Maturity takes time."
"I honestly can't see this working seeing how he's family," someone else wrote. "You can't escape him even if he's in another city. If you do get married, he'll be invited to the wedding. Take some time to think and go the therapy route. I'm sorry but in that time I'd be mentally preparing myself to leave if I were you."
Many people agreed that his fiancée was trying to do the right thing by telling him the truth.
"Relationships are built on honesty," one commenter wrote. "Marriages are built on hard truths. She just laid the first brick by giving you her deepest darkest secret. This woman really loves OP if she is willing to tell him the truth, risk rejection, and frankly risk that secret getting out."
We agree that the only way the OP and his fiancée can figure things out is with some extensive therapy — that is, if the OP wants to.
But perhaps one person in the comments said it best: "Imagine the balls it took to tell you that. Man. What a skeleton she had hidden."
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