A dad faced the fury of the internet after he let it slip that he told his 9-year-old daughter that he loved his girlfriend more than her. He explained that the confession came from his belief that "the man is supposed to put his wife/spouse before anyone else," but the internet had to set him straight that that's not exactly how things work.
The 37-year-old father wrote on Reddit that he and his girlfriend have been together for a few years.
In the past, he knows his 38-year-old girlfriend has been "harsh" to his daughter, "but it's only tough love; she obviously cares about my daughter and I care about her children as well," he explained in a post.
He holds certain beliefs when it comes to his kids as well.
Mainly, that as a man, the kids should come after his romantic partner.
"This is how I feel strongly," he wrote.
He isn't afraid to spend more money on his girlfriend.
Sure, he does buy her more gifts than his daughter, but his girlfriend also spends more money on him than on her own children.
"And her kids never seem to have an issue with it," he wrote.
It probably isn't any surprise that his daughter is "extra sensitive" about this.
So much so, that the 9-year-old worked up the courage to ask her father the most heartbreaking question.
"She asked me 'Do you love (my girlfriend) more than me?'" the dad recalled.
He gave her his crushing answer: basically, yes.
Her question took the dad by surprise, but "I responded something along the lines of 'a man is supposed to love his wife more than his children.'"
That is probably not what she wanted to hear. In fact, for the rest of their car ride home his daughter was "really quiet."
"She seemed upset, and I'm wondering if maybe I should have lied and said something else even though it's how I feel, and I didn't want to lie to her," he wrote.
The comment section really let the Reddit dad have it.
"You've got some major problems, and your poor daughter is likely going to be traumatized," one commenter wrote.
"You have absolutely traumatized your daughter," a second commenter agreed, adding this:
"'Put your spouse before all others' doesn't mean to ignore the needs and feelings of your children; it means other adults — probably specifically other adults you may find sexually appealing — shouldn't be prioritized or given weight above your partner. Being a parent actually does mean putting someone else above all others — yourself included — that this is somehow lost on you and your girlfriend both makes you both unfit parents. I can't even articulate how much you don't deserve that little girl, and my heart breaks for her."
"You're the a–hole. You just are," a third person agreed. "The love you have for each of them is a different type of love and is felt in different ways, but to tell your daughter that you love her less than another woman, who is literally a nobody to her, is a d–k move. … You are undeserving of being a father."
The response from the comment section was enough to get him to reconsider.
In an update to his post, the dad wrote that upon reflection, "[I] realize I was 100% in the wrong," he wrote.
So, he went back to his daughter and explained that he made a mistake.
"I do love my daughter … I have talked about the issue and that the love I have for my girlfriend is different than the love I have for her," he continued. "I'm going to work on being a better parent, and I'll talk to my girlfriend about being less harsh on her due to the suspected autism."
He added that although the comment section was harsh, "I do appreciate them opening my eyes to the issue."
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