There is so much that this worldwide health crisis is impacting. On top of the thousands of people who have died and more who have gotten sick, everyone else has put their lives on pause to do what we can to keep this from getting worse. For many people, this means having to switch their wedding plans, and it’s a big deal. For most couples, wedding planning takes several years and a lot of hard work, so having to cancel, postpone, or switch up the plans is a difficult but necessary decision.
One couple said their wedding plans had to change after initially hoping to get married this summer. They had to scale down their “big” wedding for a much smaller one and uninvite people. Most understood, but some family members decided to make things more difficult for the couple.
A bride-to-be took to Reddit to vent frustrations about canceling a wedding and the family making it harder.
The woman wrote in the JustNoMIL subreddit that due to the health crisis right now, her wedding plans needed a major re-do. “My fiancé and I had to cancel our big wedding this summer because of the pandemic (our state is banning all large events and a ton of extended family members were bowing out),” she wrote. “We rescheduled a small ceremony for the end of the summer with just immediate family, close friends and mentors.”
She said most people were understanding. “As we’re letting our friends and extended family know the news (and re-inviting the close ones to the new, small ceremony) they are all soooo loving and supportive.” She added, “They’re asking if we need anything and showering us in support. The close fam and friends invited to the new ceremony are saying ‘I’ll be there no question! We love you guys!’ They’re literally cancelling flights and right away and rebooking and everything. So you know, lots of really really amazing support.”
And then the bride-to-be says when it came time for her fiancé to tell his family, they didn’t have the same level of support.
“First, his mom starts telling him we should postpone all the way into 2021,” the Redditor wrote. “We should wait for him to get his degree! We ‘have to be considerate of them’ (Of course this is coming from the woman who continuously shows her hatred for our relationship. I’m taking ‘her man’ away in her opinion.)”
The OP’s future sister-in-law wasn’t much nicer about the situation. “Then, his superbly rude sister starts complaining about airline costs saying she doesn’t want to have airline ‘credit’ sitting around (even though they have to buy a new ticket anyways) Then she starts complaining that all the available flights for our new date have ‘an added stop’ — I’m sorry but how the h**l is ‘an added stop’ such a barrier to your brothers WEDDING???”
The OP says her future sister-in-law tries to “manipulate my fiancé into paying for their new tickets since they are ‘losing money’ (we’re losing venue deposits too btw- THIS PANDEMIC ISN’T ANYONES FAULT FOR G**S SAKE) He almost gives in to pay it to get them to stop [expletive], but I jumped in. He’s not paying a dime.”
And then it sounds like OP’s mother-in-law refuses to do much about it at all.
“And last of all, his mom tells him ‘we’re not buying any tickets because we’re sure things will change at the end of the summer,’” the frustrated bride-to-be says.
The Reddit post ends with the woman saying she’s surprised by the family’s reaction. “So overall his fam is acting like we’re selfish for moving our wedding day and acting like we’re a huge inconvenience- meanwhile people who aren’t even related are showing incredible love, flexibility and support,” she wrote.
“It’s just really sad for my fiancé. His fam acts like his wedding day is about them and that it’s a joke. He’s hurting.”
The situation doesn’t sound ideal for anyone, and OP is upset that the decision to cancel wasn’t theirs either, and yet their family seems to think it’s more about them. Comments came in on the thread supporting OP after hearing her frustrations.
“What a crappy family trying to extort their kid like that,” one person wrote. Another bride-to-be shared her solidarity writing, “Coming from another bride who had to postpone her wedding, it absolutely sucks but you’re doing the right thing.”
Another used sarcasm to highlight how silly the OP’s future in-laws are being. “Well you are selfish since they obviously think you can control a WORLD WIDE PANDEMIC. Super heroes you are/you should just be able to shit them more tickets and molly coddle the over indulged sil/mil. I love how you stated, TOUGH [expletive] this isn’t our fault.”
Another offered some advice saying, “I think it’s weird that his sister is doing that, unless they have a bad relationship. I don’t think it is unreasonable to not want to buy tickets when things are uncertain, though. Can you hold the wedding on Zoom for those who can’t afford to attend either due to financial reasons or to health reasons?”
OP replied to the comment saying they do plan to livestream for those who can’t attend, but that’s not what this is about for family.
“Yes we will be live streaming it for everyone,” the OP wrote. “For his family though it’s not really about finances or safety– they’re using this unfortunate situation as a way to manipulate my fiancé into feeling bad and owing them. I’ve seen it so many times.”
She then added, “As far as his sister goes she’s just a a minion for the mother. It’s happened many times where the mom sits back acting innocent while the sister [expletive] everyone out. Only to find out the mom told her to say those things. The sister is insanely manipulated and brain washed by the mother. She 100% devoted no matter what– it’s weird as hell.”
This time is stressful for everyone, those who have to re-do a year’s worth of plans are under even more pressure. Hopefully, OP’s in-laws can see the fault in their thinking.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
