Divorce can be the nastiest thing a person goes through. The process of dissolving a marriage can truly bring out the worst in people. And what's worse is that sometimes the kids get the brunt of that destruction.
Sometimes it deeply impacts the adults in those children's lives too. One dad on Reddit was so "impacted" he decided to fully move on with his "new" family.
The circumstances around his divorce were nasty.
"My ex-wife and I had a horrific divorce when my son was 10 and my daughter was 12," he began in his post. "Originally my wife had been cheating on me but truthfully we were horrible to each other and this showed in the divorce. We ended up with a 50/50 custody but she fought tooth and nail to get full custody and for 2 years we kept slogging it through the courts. After the expenses of the divorce, alimony, child support I had enough and just wanted to never see her again and start my life anew."
He claims that his wife used time between his visitation to turn the kids against him.
"Not being able to see the kids for the holidays because she'd decided to travel to the other side of the country to see her new husband's family turned into 'He doesn't want to see you,'" the dad claimed. "Every visit felt like I was trying to undo my ex wife's lies to my kids. They didn't seem to believe a word I said and she had her claws in deep. All they wanted from me was money and unless I sent it I never heard from them. I bought them both new phones, but I never got a call or text that wasn't about money."
He says that the rift between him and his children only grew larger.
"I ended up re-marrying and starting a new family, this time not making the same mistakes," he wrote. "I haven't heard from my children in just over 10 years. I tried contacting them both when they each turned 18, but my messages were ignored so I decided not to bother anymore."
His daughter recently ended up reaching out to him, but in his opinion it was too little too late.
"I decided not to reply," he wrote. "I have a new family and I feel like I tried before. Why did she wait so long to get in contact? My number or e-mail hasn't changed in more than a decade. Both of them knew where I lived, both of them knew I was open for a relationship but they decided to ignore it all."
And now, he wants to know if he's wrong for wanting to just move on and focus on the family that loves him.
Some people were stunned he places so much blame on the kids.
"You said yourself your ex-wife poisoned them against you, so is it really their fault?" asked one reader. "In any event, she is your flesh and blood and is reaching out. You could at least hear her out and give her a chance."
"I have been in the position your children were in," shared one user.
One commenter could relate to his children.
"My mom poisoned me against my dad and filled my head with things that weren't true… It always bothered me not having a dad and sometimes I would ask her about reaching out and she would tell me I would be kicked out of the house, that she couldn't believe I would do that to her and so much more," the person wrote.
"He would reach out to me in ways he could but my mom conditioned me so that when I saw a card from him I would have a panic attack and I would never read it or acknowledge it. It wasn't until I started dating my now husband that I started to really question things and ask myself what I remembered about him, it wasn't much and I decided to figure it out for myself.
"With my husband's support I reached out to my dad at 24. He walked me down the aisle at my wedding," the person added. "Our relationship will never be what it should/could have been but I'm still grateful for it. Never stop trying, you have no idea what they went through and ignoring them and putting the blame on them will only solidify what your ex told them."
When it came down to it, the dad was ultimately just proving mom right if he doesn't respond.
"You're the father you can't expect children to understand they're being manipulated by a parent," wrote one user. "You tried when your child wasn't ready. She is now, and you're proving you're everything your ex claimed you were."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
