Sometimes life just happens all at once. As one couple gets engaged, another could be welcoming their first child — and that's such a beautiful thing. However, it is causing some drama to erupt in one family after a pregnant first-time mama put her foot down over some bridal demands.
The pregnant mom started off by saying she was excited for her BIL, who planned on getting married two weeks after she was due with her first child.
Excitement turned into drama after she was assigned a rather large task for their wedding for over 100 people.
" [My task] was to ensure the guests walked out with their 'thank-you' gifts (which is to be segregated by age & gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc."
Right off the bat, the mom-to-be was honest and said no.
"I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous," she said. "I offered to do the excel work — sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I'm being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family."
So the mom laid it out for them pretty frankly:
"I said I won't be attending the wedding if that's what they think of me," she wrote. "Honestly, I don't even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I'm worried it's all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child's."
What's worse? Her husband sided with his family.
As if it weren't bad enough, her MIL made a wild suggestion to "fix" it.
"My MIL is still going on about how people are gonna gossip about the missing DIL and the shame this is going to bring upon the family and if I'm so paranoid about coming to the wedding, I should consider a C-sec 2 weeks in advance as that will give me a 4 week rest period," the mom-to-be wrote. "BIL's fiancée is now crying saying that I've made the wedding about me and not about them. Apparently I've ruined the first major family event in 8 years."
Not only were people appalled at how they were reacting, but they also noted two weeks is not a lot of time post-birth to be doing much of anything.
"Two weeks after giving birth you will have a two week old baby — that means maximum sleep deprivation, for you and your husband," wrote one commenter. "Taking a shower, putting on nice clothes and going somewhere other than your house is already maximum effort. For me it was peak coming down from hormones bursting into messy tears for no reason at all and feeling totally alien in my own body time. Asking you to do something mentally and emotionally taxing is asking for you to have a breakdown in the middle of their wedding, which is really something most people don't want."
The person continued, "And I'm honestly assuming you are not planning to breastfeed, because that would make even attending the wedding about 100x harder than it already would be, and mean you would have to spend about half the time there pumping or feeding the baby."
Others also reminded the mom that a due date wasn't an ironclad deal.
"It may not even be two weeks after you give birth," warned one reader. "It might be two days, or even two hours. It can't even be guaranteed that you'll be there. It's absurd that they've given you any task."
Another user agreed.
"Your first is more often late than early. Then you might need extended recovery time," the person wrote. "Even if he/she isn't late and everything goes perfectly, you are still going to be exhausted. You cannot be given a set job on the day simply because there is no guarantee that you will even be capable of being there."
No matter what, this mama-to-be needs to prioritize her health and the baby's.
