When you become a parent, you realize that “normal” is extremely relative. The rules you grew up with and customs you simply accepted suddenly don’t have to be the be-all-end-all when it comes to raising your kids. While there is a certain amount of freedom in that, it also comes with the realization that some supposed normal parenting rules have always been ridiculous.
On a Reddit thread, parents discussed the once “normal” parenting rule that they now each see as “emotionally damaging AF.” In some ways, it’s a sign of the changing times that some rules or things we all once accepted no longer seem as easy to digest. In other ways, people’s responses prove that parents are more willing than ever to do things their way. That doesn’t mean that some of the rules or customs that we once accepted are any easier to stomach now.
The ‘normal’ rules that parents once followed now seem downright ridiculous.
No one is saying that you shouldn’t follow in your own parents’ footsteps with how you raise your kids, but different generations tend to parent differently. Even if you brought a lesson or two from your childhood into your parenting style, chances are, in hindsight you see some of your parents’ actions as questionable. For the parents in the Reddit thread, that’s definitely true.
One parent shared that their mom used to comment on their weight and compare them to their sister. “My mom used to constantly talk about how tall and skinny and pretty my younger sister is and how ‘we are short and fat,'” the commenter wrote in the thread. “Yeah thanks Mom, that didn’t contribute to my life long eating disorder at all.”
Someone replied to that comment with, “Even positive comparisons can be damaging, there’s no benefit in encouraging a child to compare themselves to others and creating an unnecessary sense of competition.”
Another user wrote in the thread that the “constant teasing” they experienced from their brother and dad was a lot to deal with. Now, they see this as a given that they went through that was damaging for them. From parents’ comments on eating habits and body types to making it the “norm” to tease and allow teasing, clearly, things have changed since the parents of today were kids themselves.
Something else that parents of today seem to agree was less harmful than helpful from their own parents was the age-old, “I’ll give you something to cry about” line. Who among us did not hear that at some point during childhood when we were upset and a parent did not want to hear the crying or see the tears? Most parents today couldn’t fathom not allowing their kid to share their feelings and emotions.
Someone else shared in the thread that, while their parents saw spanking as a necessity sometimes, they now view it for what it was and is today, abuse.
“It has been scientifically proven to be immensely harmful,” they wrote, about spanking. “It literally permanently alters their brain chemistry and the children’s brain learns to adapt to the reduced amount of dopamine/serotonin. This is what causes a lot of mental disorders, aka, trauma. Spanking absolutely causes trauma.”
Another behavior from parents that many adults of today experienced as kids was the constant seemingly harmless question of whether or not they had a girlfriend or boyfriend at school, even as a young child. For many parents of today, it makes no sense to ask a preschool-aged child if they have a crush at school, even as a joke.
If the Reddit thread teaches us anything about parenting, it’s that the next generation is always evolving in some way.
Luckily, most parents today learned from their own parents’ mistakes and misdeeds. The goal is to help their kids do even better in the future.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
