This is going to sound like an obvious statement, but being married is hard y'all. We have to compromise every day to make sure that our partners are happy in big and small ways — but sometimes compromise is impossible, and that's when real hurt can happen. One dad discovered years later his at-the-time pregnant wife took matters into her own hands when he refused to give up his "aggressive" breed dog for adoption.
The dad began explaining that before he got married, he had a dog he truly loved and thought of as his buddy.
"When my wife got pregnant, she became increasingly paranoid that the dog would be a danger to the baby," the dad wrote on Reddit. "She brought up rehoming, and I refused. She was an 'aggressive breed,' but she was trained. One day, she called me crying at work that the dog ran away and she couldn't run after her. I believed her. I looked for that dog for weeks. I finally just accepted it because we had to go to the hospital to welcome our child and there were just other pressing concerns."
Five years have passed since then and the couple now has three children.
The dad began to ask about getting another dog for their family.
"I've wanted to get a new dog, but the kids take a lot of energy and time," he wrote. "My wife has always had a new excuse not to get another dog. I found out recently that my dog didn't run away, my wife and her father took the dog to the pound while I was at work because her parents agreed with her about the dog being 'dangerous.'"
The dad is beyond furious and is ready to give an ultimatum.
"She was MY dog, my BABY," he wrote. "She wasn't dangerous. I would never have agreed to that. She probably never got adopted. I'm honestly mad enough to consider a separation if not for the kids and practical reasons. I've told her that the only way to make it up even a little bit is for us to get a dog. She ultimately doesn't want a dog at all, and complained that she would have to do too much with it. I'm not planning to let up on this one this time."
People warned the dad that the real issue was not the dog.
"Let's ignore the dog for a moment," advised one user. "Your partner in life, your sickness and health, your love maliciously hurt you. At a minimum, she ripped something you loved from you and caused you deliberate and direct distress over a hypothetical risk. In likelihood, she murdered it; but at a minimum she took it from you and lied to you about it…honestly, get that divorce. If she's capable of doing this to you, can you really trust her?"
Others noted that he might not really want to bring a dog, let alone one attached to an ultimatum, into that situation considering her past actions.
"I can't believe she would go out of her way to make family plans to destroy your trust," emphasized another reader. "I would never be with someone who disrespected me to that degree, wow. Don't get a dog with this woman, she didn't care about getting rid of your dog before what's to stop her from just doing the same thing again?"
Of course, there are other factors this dad will have to consider before he chooses what to do, but no matter what some serious counseling will have to happen for everyone to move on in a healthy way.
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