This is the beginning of a real American Horror Story.
It started out as an innocent beauty assignment. My boss asked me to try the Baby Foot Peel — one of the craziest products in the beauty world.
People have VERY strong feelings about this peel — they either LOVE it or they HATE it because it's so hardcore.
This peel bills itself as "A simple way to get baby soft feet"... but I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Before trying it, my feet weren't really in need of dire help. I was afraid that there wouldn't be much to peel.
The only "problem area" I had was some drying and light cracking around the heel. Nothing a decent pedicure couldn't fix (or so I thought).
I started the process over the weekend, since it takes a few days for the peel to work.
I'd rather not go through any shedding during the work week when I'm trying to look cute.
So on a Sunday night, I tore into the Baby Foot package. Here's what was inside.
These are plastic booties with a lavender-scented peel solution, and a sheet of tape to secure them around your ankles. I felt… anxious.
I slipped them on and immediately felt more glamourous.
Just kidding, these booties are ridiculous. The mixture REALLY smells like lavender, which made me the happiest ever, but a lot of people (like my boss) might not be into it. There are also some oils in this bootie mix, which made my feet slide around (do not walk around while you're wearing this).
After securing the booties around my ankles with the tape they provided, I slipped on a pair of socks, and let my feet cook for an hour.
The mixture didn't burn or itch; it just felt oily. I rinsed it off, and got ready to peel.
24 hours hadn't even passed when I noticed something extremely creepy was definitely happening with my skin.
I was rocking my feet from side to side while laying on the couch, and it literally felt like my skin had separated from my foot. However, I had not officially started peeling yet.
It was as if I was moving my feet within a sock of made of own skin. So creepy!
By the fourth day, I started to see white spots on the bottom of my feet where my "dead skin" was starting to break free.
By the sixth day, shit was getting REAL. The friction between the soles of my feet and a pair of stiff heels took the peeling process from 0 to 100.
I could have sworn I saw a piece of skin sticking out of the sandal while I was on the train, but I wasn't going to find out in public.
And the reveal was TRULY HORRIFIC.
It was NOT a sight for sore eyes.
And if you thought THAT was gross, just wait until you see what your feet look like after a shower.
The water seeps underneath the skin that has started to lift and before you know it, you feel like you're standing on the most epic blisters ever, except they don't hurt.
And it looks SO revolting, I had to show my friends and family. But none of us were prepared for this.
This. Is. SO. GROSS.
My foot is literally peeling off my foot!
My family immediately went nuclear, thinking my feet were about to fall off.
They couldn't believe that I tried something just because my boss asked me to. This led to the obvious question: "If your job asked you to jump over a bridge would you do it?"
As scary as it looked, it didn't hurt at all. The layer of peeling skin wasn't thick enough to get rid of calluses, so I didn't worry about damaging raw skin.
The only discomfort I experienced was some mild itching, and the psychological trauma of knowing that I was walking around inside my own skin socks.
I had to manually get rid of the skin as it lifted, which meant I spent a lot of time picking my feet.
By the end of the experience, I could have created a tiny mountain of gross dead skin that Goldmember would have killed for.
The top of my feet and the area around my ankles were the last places to peel.
It was nowhere near as horrifying; it peeled like your nose and forehead does when you're recovering from a sunburn.
After two weeks, the skin purge finally stopped and I have to admit that the bottom of my feet felt INCREDIBLY soft.
My feet were plush like the fanciest fur coat. I felt like a luxurious goddess who only bathes in olive oil.
But that silky feeling disappeared quickly — two weeks after my traumatizing peel, it was like I'd never done it at all.
Nothing gold ever stays.
Although my heels have seen worse days, they were definitely not at the levels of fleekness I expected after going through such a long and nasty-looking process.
I don't see myself trying this insane Baby Foot Peel again — unless my boss asks, of course.
Would you try this foot peel? Let me know in the comments or on Facebook.
CORRECTION: A previous version of this article stated Fat Bastard would have loved the dead skin mountain. It is Goldmember, not Fat Bastard.
