People Love These Christmas Wreath Nipple Pasties So Much They Sold Out

No, these are not two adorable tiny little holiday wreaths. These are for your boobs.

You're hearing me correctly. These tiny little bauble-and-garland creations do not hang off your front door, but sit proudly atop your nipples underneath what I'm assuming is some also festive Santa-themed lingerie.

If you're as shocked as I am, welcome to the apparently flourishing world of holiday nipple pasties. People here are apparently extremely hyped about hiding their nipples with Christmas decorations.

Yep — Christmas wreaths for your ta-tas totally exist.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94387.png
Boohoo

UK-based retailer Boohoo is responsible for them, because of course it is.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94388.png
Boohoo

I'm kind of terrified of them, but also my 12-year-old hindbrain can't help but think of the sound they'd make if you shimmied around in 'em.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94390.gif
Giphy

And here's the real kicker, though: People love them so much, they SOLD OUT.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94389.png
Boohoo

So yeah. If you saw them and immediately wanted to buy them for ... reasons, you can't. But thankfully, Boohoo has a few other ~fun and festive~ titty decorations for you to choose from.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94403.gif
Giphy

You can have these fluffy nipple feathers!

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94405.png
Boohoo

($5, Boohoo)

Or these bells for optimal jingle.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94406.png
Boohoo

($5, Boohoo)

Present your two best girls as the present of a lifetime with these simple bows.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94409.png
Boohoo

($5, Boohoo)

People on the naughty list will get a kick out of these tassled stars.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94407.png
Boohoo

($5, Boohoo)

But if not even the holidays can deter you from your all-black aesthetic, these black, tassle-less ones should do.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94408.png
Boohoo

($5, Boohoo)

Hate the Christmas hype? You're a monster, but screw it! Here are some spooky ones to keep you afloat until next Halloween.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94410.png
Boohoo

($5, Boohoo)

They can't live up to the original, but they'll just have to do. Sigh.

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94411.png
Boohoo

Now, everybody, sing it with me!

img-of-media-slide-rv-14037-94413.gif
Giphy

Jingle boobs, jingle boobs…