How are we still making fun of women's bodies in this day and age? Shouldn't we be past that by now? How in the world do people — especially men — think it's still OK to make comments or laugh at a woman because of her appearance? It's horrible, and it can be so much worse when someone you love is the one being hurtful. No one needs that kind of negativity.
A woman posted in Reddit's AITA forum to talk about her husband and something he did recently that really hurt her. The original poster has gained some weight because of medical issues. She isn't in love with her body right now but has learned to deal with it.
Her husband recently asked her to wear an older dress he likes to his birthday party. Despite not being totally comfortable in it, she did. When OP got to the party, her husband immediately made fun of her in front of everyone, and it made her feel horrible. Humiliated, she left the party, and he says she was wrong to take off. Now she wonders if she overreacted.
OP has had some health issues.
Due to no fault of her own, OP's health situation has changed, and she has to take medication that has caused a bit of weight gain. She has bought new clothes for her new body, and everything's been fine.
Recently, though, her husband wanted her to wear one of her older dresses for his birthday, and she said yes, even though she felt self-conscious because it didn't fit her the same way.
The family met at a restaurant for the party.
OP and her sister met her husband and the rest of the guests at a restaurant for the birthday celebration. Her husband saw her and began to mock her immediately.
"As soon as he saw me walking in, he busted out laughing …. he pointed at the dress and was going hysterical saying 'oh my God' I felt so incredibly mad. Especially when the others started laughing as well," she wrote in her post.
"One of his friends started whistling in a mocking tone. I turned around instantly and walked out and my sister followed me. I went home and cried a little but he kept calling non stop," she explained.
His laugh was not just a little snicker either.
OP shared that her husband was not trying to hold back his emotions. He made it perfectly clear that he was laughing at this wife.
"I need to explain the way he laughed more. He first started giggling and tried to cover his mouth then, in a matter of seconds he bursted out laughing. In the middle of the restaurant," she explained. "The guests were confused then they must've understood why he was laughing because they joined in and his friend whistled at me mockingly while repeatedly turning his head like something caught his 'attention.'"
Not surprisingly, she felt humiliated.
OP got out of there as fast as she could. Her husband's reaction crushed her, and she felt foolish in front of a crowd. He didn't see it that way and thinks she should get over it.
"He came home and started talking about how oversensitive I was and that 'it was just a natural reaction' he had upon seeing me in this dress again after all this time," she wrote. "He said I overreacted and made a scene over nothing. He also said I ruined his birthday and urged me to get therapy for this oversensitivity that I'm inflicting upon him."
Excuse us, what?
Reddit isn't here for the body shaming.
The Reddit community came out strongly in OP's defense, echoing the sentiment that body shaming and bullying are always wrong.
One person called it abuse.
"This is straight up abuse from your husband. Don't let anyone sugarcoat it, he purposely told you to wear clothing that was too small for the express purpose of humiliating you," the person wrote. "He will try to deny it, but he's actively body shaming you for his amusement. You can do better, OP, and you deserve better."
Another person suggested that she should love herself more and go do something nice for herself.
"Take the gift back and buy a nice dress for yourself, that fits your current body and makes you feel beautiful and confident. Everyone deserves to feel like that," the person commented.
"A bad husband does what yours did but apologizes with an eyeroll at the end of the evening. Your husband is a few notches below that," another person wrote. "I hope you DO get some therapy, but I want to see you work on your self esteem, holding boundaries, and to see how wonderful you are and know that you deserve good things and people who treat you well ❤️"
People don't think OP did anything wrong.
People filled the comment section chanting that OP is NTA.
"NTA. That was a dirty rotten thing he did," one comment read. "Even if he didn't mean to play a trick on you by telling you to wear the dress (and I'm not totally convinced he didn't do that on purpose), he should not have just burst out laughing at you, gotten everyone else to do the same, and then scolded you for being upset about it."
Lots of people agreed that OP's husband is the problem.
"NTA but your husband and the other people who laughed sure are. A group of grown a– people pointing and laughing at someone they're supposed to love and support and then calling them over sensitive for not wanting to endure ridicule is embarassing," someone else wrote. "I hope you're doing OK, OP, and I hope your husband decides to grow up soon."
"Do not let him convince you this is somehow your fault, that's gaslighting. This story broke my heart for you," another person chimed in. "No one deserves to be treated like this, especially not by their spouse. He should be encouraging and on your side, not making you the brunt of a joke."
Redditors think OP shouldn't have to put up with that behavior.
No, Reddit doesn't think that OP overreacted. Redditors believe that she deserves better than a misogynistic jerk.
"NTA OP needs to read this over and over again," one person commented. "F— that guy, please don't let him manipulate you. You deserve better."
"So you've put on some weight and are insecure about the changes to your body. Your husband, who knows this, asked you to wear a dress he knew you were uncomfortable in," another person wrote. "When he saw you in the dress, he loudly laughed AT you, until his friends joined in by also mocking you. Your husband and his friends are AHs, and he is abusive. You deserve better."
OP, take his lead on the therapy thing.
Reddit thinks that therapy for OP is actually a good idea. It's not because, as her husband suggested, she is overly sensitive, but because they think it would actually help her to stand up to him. OP could use it to empower herself.
"What happened here as they point out is a long string of red flags!" one person wrote. "I do agree with him on therapy, so you work through this, get your self esteem back and either work to change your relationship or decide to break free of someone who not only publicly humiliates you, but expects you to apologize for not enjoying it."
"You need therapy, that's right, but not for your overs sensitivity … but for your own sake/ self esteem/ emotional trauma your husband is subjecting you to. His reaction was completely unjustified. This was bound to happen," someone else wrote. "He guilted you into wearing something you weren't comfortable in/ he knew you didn't fit. He publicly humiliated you. He is blaming you. Gaslighting you. Hasn't apologised. Get a divorce pronto, easiest way to drop dead weight."
"maybe you SHOULD go to therapy to do some deep thinking on how you deserve a partner who loves and respects you," suggested another commenter.
Redditors were overwhelmingly supportive of OP.
Not a single YTA in the bunch, OP. Nope. Redditors want you physically and emotionally happy and healthy, and if that means getting rid of the real dead weight, it might be time for you to move on from your husband.
You deserve to be cherished and loved, not the butt of a joke. Redditors warn that if he doesn't watch it, your husband may end up being the punchline.
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