Body shaming is never OK, no matter what your body type is. No one should ever feel entitled to give an opinion on someone else's body, especially not a critical opinion. Every body is unique and beautiful. Period. But as we all know, plenty of people can't understand this fact and will make disparaging comments.
For example, a woman recently posted on Reddit's AITA forum about a body-shaming comment from her sister-in-law, Valerie, that caused a huge explosion. Not only did her SIL body-shame her, but she also did it after the woman had suffered a miscarriage. That's just cold!
Valerie accused the original poster of being too thin and said that was why she had a miscarriage. OP was devastated by her SIL's comments and fired back. But get this: Her husband did not defend her. Should she have kept her cool and let it go? She left that up to Redditors to decide.
Valerie and OP aren't what you would consider close.
The women are related only by marriage; Valerie is married to OP's husband's brother. OP said they have never been close but have been cordial. "We are on OK terms most of the time. That is until she started making comments about my physical health," OP explained.
Apparently, Valerie thinks that OP is too thin and makes a point to tell her that on the regular. She loves to point out OP's "flat chest or non-existent butt."
OP shared that it is none of Valerie's business what she looks like. OP has been thin her whole life and is happy in her own skin.
Valerie likes to flaunt her figure.
Of course isn't it just fitting that Valerie has a curvy figure? She evidently likes to flaunt her body.
OP claimed that Valerie spends all her time and money on her appearance. In addition, Valerie thinks OP is overreacting when she comments on her body because she is just "making observations."
OP recently got pregnant and was thrilled.
OP and her husband tried to have a baby for three years and finally got pregnant recently. She and her family were thrilled about the baby. Sadly, OP had a miscarriage, and naturally, she was heartbroken.
Her MIL invited her and her husband to dinner to help cheer her up. Valerie and her husband were there, and that's when the trouble started.
"We were talking during dinner and Valerie brought up my miscarriage. She flat out said that the miscarriage happened because of my body and 'my small and limited potential it has to be able to carry a baby,'" OP wrote.
OP got upset, and things got ugly.
OP wasn't happy with Valerie, and she lashed out.
"My husband looked at me hoping I'd let it go but I looked at Valerie from head to toe then pointed at her chest and said' Oh I see that's where all your brains and class melted to.'"
It's hard to blame her, but oh boy.
OP's outburst caused all kinds of hurt feelings.
Valerie's husband called out OP and said her comment was out of line. OP clapped back and defended her behavior.
"I argued that she made a jab at my body and basically blamed it for the miscarriage. We all started arguing but my husband sat there quietly watching. I got up, gathered my stuff and told him I wanted to go home," she explained.
The ride home was quiet, but hours later OP's husband "scolded" OP and claimed what she said was totally mean and out of line" and his sister was just making an observation. He even wanted her to call his sister and apologize, but OP opted not to do that.
First, let's talk about the husband, shall we?
The first commenter went right after OP's husband. Shouldn't he be on her side? Lots of people thought so.
"I would not be putting up with that from the husband holy s—. Tell that man he can start setting boundaries with his family and defending you or pack his s— NTA," one person commented.
Another person agreed. "Yes op, your husband is pathetic. He just sat there and let his family attack you and he thinks you are the AH? Yeah that is not partner for you."
"I would say dump the entire family, husband included," yet another commenter recommended.
And, of course, there's Valerie.
This lady needs to watch her words. Surely she can't be so insensitive that she would body-shame OP while she is grieving, right?
"Wtf why does Valerie get to be a condescending B word but when you throw is back your the bad guy?" someone asked. "Also — Only super super SUPER s—-y people comment on others' miscarriages like that."
People empathized with OP's loss. This is a tough time for her, after all.
"I'm sorry for your loss. Valerie is a total AH," one Redditor wrote. "She deserved what you said & worse."
"First of all, OP, I'm sorry for your loss. It really takes time to move on from a miscarriage," read another comment.
Others thought her husband also was being a jerk in not defending his wife.
This guy's wife just went through hell, and he doesn't defend her at all. How is that even OK?
"If your husband will not be emotionally supportive of you after a miscarriage, then what will it take to have him in your court?" someone asked.
OP needs emotional support from this man. What will their future look like if he doesn't have her back in her time of need?
"My husband and I went through infertility and miscarriages, and he grieved alongside me. If someone had been this cruel, he would have lit them UP," another Redditor commenters. "Please understand that if you do go on to have a child with this man, he will not enforce boundaries. He will throw you under the bus for his own comfort. I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope your husband catches a clue."
Redditors want OP to examine her marriage.
It is so hard when you have committed to someone in marriage only to realize that they aren't who you thought they were. OP's husband seems to have showed his true colors, and they aren't a pretty rainbow.
"NTA — your SIL blamed you for your miscarriage and your husband sat there and let her then blamed you for giving her a taste of her own medicine. Why are you still living with this guy?" one commenter questioned. "I would have packed a bag and went to live with my parents or a friend. He can't even defend you against something that horrible? What good is he as a husband? Reddit goes to this a lot, but seriously consider if this guy is worth staying married to?"
Some are wondering if her husband actually sides with Valerie.
"Your husband saying she was just making 'an observation' means he basically agrees with her and thinks it's the truth and I wouldn't be surprised if he actually blames you," someone else chimed in. "I usually don't say this on Reddit but .. you should rethink that relationship."
OP probably needs to think this over and ensure this is the person she wants to spend her life with. And then ask if he wants to be with her. If he doesn't defend her in her time of need, he may not be worth it.
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