Sexual assault is abhorrent under any circumstances. A person never asks for it, doesn't deserve it, and is always a victim. Women in particular often face judgment in instances of sexual assault, which is utterly disgusting. Anyone who has experienced this trauma is entitled to deal with it how they want to. Whether they keep their life private or share is entirely up to them.
Sadly, a woman was sexually assaulted by a man many years ago during a home invasion. It was incredibly difficult for her and her husband, and they kept the attack private. Around the same time of the assault, the woman and her husband were trying to conceive but were having a hard time. Not long after the attack, she became pregnant. The couple chose not to perform a DNA test on the baby as they would raise the child as if they were both her biological parents, no matter what.
The woman recently posted in Reddit's Motherinlawsfromhell forum to out her mother-in-law for her vicious, deceitful behavior. The original poster's MIL performed a DNA test on her daughter without her knowing. She then announced that the girl was not her son's daughter and accused OP of being "trash." OP was forced to talk about a dark time that she wasn't prepared to discuss yet, and she is devastated. She never wants to speak to her MIL again. Why should she?
There was an assault.
OP's husband and brother were out of the house one evening, and she was sexually assaulted. This was right around when she was ovulating, but she took emergency contraception at the hospital following the assault.
"I knew it would undo all the hard work (medication) and mean we wouldn't be able to have a baby of our own, but I couldn't risk getting pregnant with my Rwords baby," she wrote. "We'll after a few months I've been feeling off, sick, down I figured I was just depressed after the SA and I hadn't been eating. But I soon found out I was pregnant."
OP and her husband questioned the baby's paternity.
When the couple went to the doctor, OP was further along than she thought, leading them to question who the baby's father was. After much consideration, they decided that no matter who the baby's biological father was, OP's husband would raise the baby as his own. They chose not to test, as it didn't matter to them. When their child was older, they would tell him or her, and the child could take it from there.
"I will also note at this point my case was unsolved but had been linked to other SAs/ murders at the time. A few years ago my rapist was caught and a year ago finally sentenced. At the hearing I spoke and my daughter and son knew about it but I didn't go into details, but they knew I was 'attacked' but only knew it was before they were born," she wrote.
OP's daughter looks just like her.
OP's daughter has had a strong resemblance to her as she has grown up. They have the same color hair and eyes, but she is taller than her mom and thinner than both of her parents. OP has never questioned that she is her husband's daughter based on looks alone.
But her MIL was treating her daughter differently and criticizing her appearance, almost implying that she didn't belong to her son. MIL secretly DNA-tested the girl behind her parents' backs.
MIL confronted OP and her husband.
MIL invited OP and her husband to dinner to drop a Maury Povich-style bomb on her son.
"I asked my MIL what it was and she said 'the proof that you're the garbage I always knew you were.' I was extremely confused, I asked who's DNA she compared and as I said that I just knew, she's said my husband and my daughter. My husband looked at me and he looked so hurt and lost, I'll never get that image out of my head as long as I live. I called her a heartless c— and my husband and I left. I blocked her number from mine and my kids phones, but figured my husband needed to make that decision on his own," OP wrote. WTAF?!?!!?
Now, what is OP supposed to do?
Her MIL thinks she is "trash" but has no idea that OP was sexually assaulted. Does she have to tell her, or does she just let this vile human being think that she was unfaithful to her husband? Is it any of her business? No. Does OP feel unfairly judged for something that she didn't do? Yes. Has her grandmother violated her granddaughter's privacy? Yes.
This has just reopened a wound that OP wasn't ready to discuss. And, quite frankly, didn't ever have to address it until she was ready. It is so unfair.
Reddit hates OP's MIL.
The forum is motherinlawsfromhell, and Redditors agree that OP has one of the worst that they have ever read about.
"Oh honey," someone commented. "First off, I am so incredibly sorry for the trauma you've been through and that your pos MIl reopened those wounds. This is one of the most vile MIL stories I've read and I've been on this site for a long time. Please know that you and your husband have made the right choice in cutting her off- no one else's opinion matters, honestly. It may be worth looking into family therapy so y'all figure out how can move forward from this together. Sending y'all love."
"There are no words for how disgusting she is," someone agreed. "To be smug and slap 'evidence' down for something that if it was what she thought had happened 17 years earlier and you two had moved passed it. What did she think she would do? This doesn't show compassion, concern for their child. This shows absolute hatred for their child's spouse."
"So, for 25-YEARS she was just LOOKING for a reason NOT to like you and didn't have one until she overheard gossip and snooped?" another commenter wondered. "That is more than enough to go complete NC with her for LIFE. Go NC with anyone else who stands by her, she is human trash."
People feel equally bad for OP's husband.
No one deserves what that MIL did, not OP or her husband. Their children are lucky to have them.
One reader commented: "And I don't care how your daughter came to be not your husband's biological offspring. You guys are a happy family, and mil set out to destroy you and caught her son and grandchild in the crosshairs."
"I want to throw out that you and your husband are amazing people," another Reddit user wrote. "Knowing full well what was going on, you loved your daughter for who she was, not potentially who her father was and what he did. Your MIL is completely on the wrong, but you and your husband are inspirational. Keep rocking and love your family."
"For what its worth- DNA isnt what makes a family," someone else commented. "Your husband is a beautiful man who shares DNA with an awful troll."
The family continues to be no-contact.
OP posted an update stating that her MIL is "dead to me." Against what she originally envisioned, she had to tell her daughter that she was conceived via a sexual assault and that her father was not he biological father. It wrecked him and then his entire family. Their daughter is now seeing a counselor more regularly to help her work through this extremely challenging time.
OP, you and your husband, are the epitome of love.
OP, you and your husband love your kids, no matter what. It was never a question that you would raise them together in a loving home. We understand that you hoped to keep the past in the past for as long as you could, but vindictiveness and cruelty ultimately changed those plans.
May you continue to be strong for your children and one another. You have overcome so much and proven that sharing DNA isn't what makes a family whole.
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