Besties are never supposed to let a man come between them. And besties are definitely not supposed to send nudes to their friend’s husband. But that sort of became a point of contention between one woman and her husband, who swore he had zero interest in the naked photos her friend sent him behind her back.
The original poster and her friend have both known her husband for a long time.
Like high school long, but not in the way you might think.
“When we were in our senior year of high school he (31M) was our substitute teacher,” the OP explained in a post on the r/relationships forum. “Obviously all the girls liked him because he was the only young teacher we had, and I'd (23F) be lying if I said that no one tried to flirt with him, because we all did at the time, but he was always very professional and never tried anything with any of us,” she wrote.
The OP and her husband started dating after she graduated high school.
And that’s when the jokes started.
“My friend (23F) used to joke saying things like that I was very lucky to have what everyone wanted in high school,” she recalled. But as the OP and her husband got more serious, the jokes became less funny and the OP had to tell her to stop.
“For years she never did those kinds of jokes again, she got a boyfriend too so I thought all those things she said were part of the past,” she wrote.
That is until a few days ago when the OP used her husband’s phone to take photos of their baby and their dog.
She saw that he had a random direct message from an anonymous Instagram account.
“And I didn't like what I saw at all, because it was a video of my friend touching herself,” the OP wrote.
At first she thought her friend must’ve sent the video to the wrong person, “but then she said something like she was mad that he blocked her main account and asked him if he liked the other videos, which means that she sent him other videos from her main account,” she added.
The OP went to their chat and saw that thankfully her husband did block her friend.
But their conversation, x-rated photos and videos included, was still there.
“Just thinking about it makes me feel really sick,” she wrote.
Her friend also told her husband that she’s “always been in love with him and that her boyfriend doesn't satisfy her because she can only think about him and that she knows that lately he's not having much fun and if he wants she can ‘give him a hand’ without anyone knowing.”
It was a hurtful dig, as the OP recently had a baby and was feeling self-conscious about her body and her friend knew it.
“I told her that as good friends that I thought we were because I expected her to give me advice or something, I don't know, I didn't expect her to try to f— my husband,” she wrote.
“The only thing my husband told her was that she was crazy and that he was going to show me that chat so that I can see who she really is and then he blocked her,” she recalled. “But it's been a few days and he never showed me those chats and that makes me think that maybe he liked those pics and videos, so I confronted him.”
Her husband told her that he didn’t care about her friend and worried that the news would hurt her after a difficult pregnancy.
“He told me that's why he locked himself in his office every time she came to visit us, because she makes him feel uncomfortable,” she wrote. He also assured her that he’s completely OK with their sex life, but she can’t stop wondering if she’s really enough for him “and that's why he didn't delete that chat, to see her pics and videos.”
The OP really wants to believe her husband, but she doesn’t know how to stop feeling like her husband was secretly happy to get those messages.
“Maybe it's the hormones I don't know, but I feel so sad and so bad about myself. And I would like to know how I could deal with this?” she asked.
The comments section was pretty unanimous: Her husband seemed like he was telling the truth.
"It seems pretty clear to me he’s being completely honest," one commenter pointed out. "It’s not an easy conversation to say 'hey you’re friend is trying to f— me' and you’ve been clear that you’re more self-conscious right now. He probably didn’t feel like it was the best time and if he was really trying to hide it without showing, he’d save the pictures and delete the chat."
"Not deleting chats and pics and other stuff is completely normal," another commenter added. "I work in IT and you'd be surprised but people are digital hoarders and hardly ever delete anything."
"He could not have handled this situation better," a third commenter assured her. "This guy is a keeper. I think he's honestly disgusted by her. Don't make him pay for what she did. I totally understand why you're freaking out though! Just the thought that he may have enjoyed 1 sec of this would send me off the rails. But that's because I'm jealous that way, lol. I don't think he got even a millisecond of enjoyment from this. It's sexual harassment. If it were the other way around, you'd probably get a restraining order."
In an update to her post, the OP wrote that she decided to say something to her friend.
They had a face-to-face meet-up and the OP told her she knew everything.
“Of course she made up a thousand excuses,” the OP wrote. Her friend even tried to play the victim, but the OP wasn’t having it. “So I told her to stop lying but she kept lying and lying and she was getting on my nerves, so I started crying because it hurt me to see how she was lying like we hadn't been best friends for years.”
Her friend told the OP that she always got what she wanted “and that she couldn't understand how someone like me could get what she wanted so much.”
The OP added that it hurt to know that their years of friendship were just "competition."
“A competition about who was the prettiest (but I always knew this because she was always the prettiest and I was her shadow but I was fine with that) the most intelligent, the most successful with men, etc.,” she continued. “But for me our friendship was more than that, I really loved her and I would never have thought that everything would end like this, because I trusted her with my whole life.”
The OP shared so much of her life with her friend and she was repulsed by the idea of what could’ve happened had her husband not said no.
“I told her that now she is dead to me and she didn't even care, she kept trying to make me feel bad, and of course I left, I didn't want to listen to her,” she wrote. “I just want everything that happened to be a dream, but since it isn't, I guess from now on I'll have to learn to live without her.
"But that's my therapist's business, not Reddit's,” she joked.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
