My BIL Called My Son a ‘Girl’ for Going to Therapy, so I Told Him To ‘F Off’

Parents can be very defensive of their kids, and often it is justified. We hear plenty of stories about a “mama bear” coming out, but it isn’t just moms. Dads can be pretty emotional regarding their kids, too, particularly if another adult is bullying them.

A 15-year-old boy’s best friend died, and he was left heartbroken. Although they are very committed and available, his parents believed it was a good idea for him to talk to a professional. His dad, 38, explained that his son has been in therapy for a few months, and things are going well. But sadly, his wife’s brother made some nasty remarks about it, and the dad blew up at him.

He believes that he was sticking up for his son, but his wife thinks he disrespected her brother. The dad checked in with Reddit’s AITA forum for unbiased opinions.

The BIL seems to think that therapy is only for 'girls.'

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The original poster described his BIL “as a men shouldn’t express emotions kind of guy.” OP thinks that is nuts, but he has always kept it to himself. That is, until the night the BIL found out that OP’s son is in therapy and made some nasty comments.

“My bil must have overheard, because he started on a tangent about boys not needing therapy and calling him a girl. I probably wouldn’t have reacted as much if my son hadn’t been there, [but] my son was visibly hurt by what he was saying,” the dad explained.

OP was ticked and had some choice words for his wife's brother.

The kid overheard him and must have been so hurt. It’s no surprise his dad stood up for him.

“I was p—ed at him and told him to F off and that right now my son is more of a man than he is. I would have liked to say more, but I didn’t want to upset my son further. I admit that I might have gone a little too far, but I was defending my son. But I don’t think someone who shames someone else for being healthy while also being sexist is being a ‘man,'” he shared.

OP’s wife was upset with him and believed that he was the one who was disrespectful. It appears they are trying to gaslight him into thinking he was in the wrong, so he asked people on Reddit for their thoughts.

There is a jerk here, but it's not OP.

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Redditors started pointing fingers, but they weren’t upset with OP. They thought his wife and BIL were both jerks.

“Your wife is an AH for making excuses for your BIL, and your BIL was completely out of line. When you and your wife both calm down, you make it very clear that unless your BIL treats your son with respect, you will not tolerate that behavior and even go NC with him. Your wife better get her head checked,” one Redditor wrote.

People thought other family members ought to check out a therapist.

“More people need therapy. like your BIL apparently,” someone else shared. “More young men need to know therapy is a perfectly okay thing to do. I hope our son is finding healthy ways to deal with his grief, and good on you for defending him.”

“NTA and I echo other comments saying you should ask your wife why she’s ok with her brother attacking and bullying your son. Her ignorant, sexist, weak excuse for a man brother was the one being disrespectful, and other men might have wounded more than his oh so fragile ego, the fact that she’s defending her brother here is an enormous red flag,” someone else agreed.

OP totally did the right thing in Redditors' eyes.

The goal of a parent is to take care of your children and do the best for them. Redditors clearly felt like that is what OP did.

“I would though 100% agree with OP defending his son and disagree somewhat with the way he did it – ‘more of a man’ still winds up playing into the macho competition dynamics, and no one really wins there. A bit of calm shaming ‘He lost his best friend, therapy is for everyone’ might be more effective and leave no one with any excuse to complain,” someone pointed out.

“Dude, you are awesome. You should have a sitdown with your wife though, and ask why she is ok with someone attacking and bullying your son,” another commenter suggested.

OP, your son is lucky to have you.

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There is probably a lot more going on here than one Reddit post, but the bottom line for the Reddit community was that OP was 100% in the right. Not a single person voted for YTA. The situation sounds complex, but if OP continues to care for his son, like he is now, hopefully, he will model his kind behavior and appreciate and love him forever.