Traveling with kids is sometimes a hassle. We probably all have at least one memory of being stuffed in the car for a long road trip during the holidays. That experience was likely accompanied by some crying, complaining, and maybe an “If I have to come back there” or two. Flying is a whole other animal, though, and today, things are pretty different than they were way back when.
How old would your kids have to be before you let them sit by themselves on an airplane? We’re not talking about booking them a flight and sending them across the country. This is you sitting in first class while they are in the economy section. A woman and her fiancé recently battled this one out, and things got ugly fast, not just because she was worried about her kids but because he treated them unfairly. She posted to Reddit’s AITA forum asking if she overacted to her fiance’s decision to book her kids — not his — in coach.
The couple has a blended family.
Both the original poster and her fiancé have kids from previous marriages. He brings three, and she has two. Things were going fine with the fiancé taking over as the “breadwinner” for the family while OP returned to school.
She claimed, “I still contribute with my savings! I also do 80% of child-care and chores.”
Things have been going pretty well, or so she thought …
Thanksgiving is coming up, and they had plans to travel.
The family — including all five kids — planned to visit OP’s fiance’s family for Thanksgiving. It’s a long trip, so they were going to fly. The fiancé booked the tickets without telling OP his plans, but she assumed they were all sitting together. She was wrong.
“Before the flight I found out that he, his kids and myself were put in 1st class whilst my 2 kids (14) & (10) were put in economy. I was stunned, he acted like it was a no big deal and told us it’s just few hours and the kids could “just hang in there for a little while,” she explained on Reddit.
Wait — his kids were sitting in first class but hers weren’t?
OP disapproved of the seating situation.
OP didn’t want her kids, who are still on the young side, sitting in a plane by themselves. Not to mention that there would be five people in first class and he dumped her kids in coach. Totally unfair.
She confronted her fiancé, and his response was pretty unbelievable.
“I asked how he could think this was acceptable and he got mad and said he’s the one paying for tickets then we go by his rules,” she wrote.
His money, his rules? What?
OP left the airport.
OP grabbed her kids and took off. Her fiancé screamed at her to come back, causing a huge scene at the airport, but she didn’t budge. He went on the trip, and she went home. He’s been harassing her ever since.
“He has not stop calling trying to berate me and even had his mom text that I needed to get over myself and stop teaching my kids to be spoiled and entitled,” she explained. “She said that the fact that I was ‘willing’ to miss Thanksgiving with the family over something so trivial shows my real character and personality and mindset or ‘lack thereof.’ I have not replied but I feel horrible.”
So does it make her an a–hole for not going on the trip?
People couldn't believe OP's fiancé's nerve.
Reddit thought it was crazy that he thought it was OK for her kids to be in coach while his were in the front of the plane in first class.
“NTA. His kids in first class, your kids in economy? That’s a bad sign for the future. Then his response is to berate you and future MIL calling your kids spoiled and entitled? Even worse. It would not have ended here. I would be done with that relationship,” one person commented.
“Either EVERYONE goes first class or ALL kids go economy. He needs to treat all kids equal,” someone suggested.
“Not only that, but he put himself and OP in first class as well, leaving OP’s kids alone in economy. That would be all I’d need to run for the exit both at the airport and in the relationship!” another comment read.
“NTA, so sorry for you and your kids. He’s shown his true colors and his disregard for your children. So proud of you for standing up to his bullying,” read another.
People really don't like this guy.
Some Redditors pointed out that this could be some insight into the future of their relationship.
“This is the biggest red flag you’ll ever see in your life…your kids will never be treated as equal or anywhere close and he’s shown that he’s going to take full advantage of any discrepancy of power to show you that without a shadow of shame or guilt,” one person wrote. “If the shoe were on the other foot and you were to pull that stunt him and his dear old mom would be singing a different tune.”
“OP — please, get another job ASAP. Find a new place to live. Pack up your kids and get as far away from this a–hole as possible. There is nothing even remotely OK with his behavior or his attitude towards your children. The fact that he waited until you’d moved in and become financially dependent upon him before showing his true colors with regards to your children speaks volumes,” someone pointed out.
“He has made it abundantly clear with this move how he views your children compared to the rest of the family,” another person commented. “Why didn’t he put you all in economy or all in first class? Because he’s an a—a–hole. NTA for calling him out on it.”
OP posted an interesting update.
After reading the comments, she realized that she lives in a pretty toxic environment. She left the house to stay with her mother while he is on his trip with his kids.
She also explained that he has done this kind of stuff before, and she just kept thinking, “This is not right but I have invested too much time and effort in this relationship so maybe this shouldn’t get in the way.”
She is done with the excuses and wants him to do some thinking.
She hopes that he will change his tune because he believes that she and her children are worth it. But until then, he’s going to see what life is like without her.
“He’ll be coming back to an empty home … except he’ll find some company with the engagement ring that I took off and left on the nightstand,” she wrote in the update.
Good for you, OP. May you and your kids enjoy a lovely Thanksgiving with your family. Those kids should be thankful to have a great mom who loves and protects them at all costs.
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