Parents of children in day care will tell you it is one of their most daunting expenses. Child care is one of those things that you have to pay for whether your child attends or not, so getting the little one there is super important. There are certainly days when a child has to stay home for things such as illness or an occasional family emergency, but most people will tell you if they are paying for it, they want their kids there.
But if both parents aren't the same page about getting their kids to day care, it can be a source of contention. A woman in Reddit's AITA forum is having an issue with her fiancé about keeping their son home from day care without telling her. He decided that because the kid had a long night and they were all up, he should let him sleep in without telling his wife. This aggravated her on a number of levels, and she wondered if she should be mad or just let it go.
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The toddler didn't sleep well.
The whole house was up with a crabby baby, which made for a rough morning. OP and her fiancé planned to have a day date, and he said he'd take the baby to day care while she slept in. When she woke up, she found the two of them still snoozing.
"I asked him about it and he told me he called him out of daycare because he wanted to sleep in," she wrote. "This alone irritated me because he could have woken me up and I would have taken him to daycare myself. I don't like when he misses daycare for no good reason. We pay $350 a week for him to go, and it does not get cheaper if he misses days."
The couple were supposed to spend some time alone.
On top of her toddler being off his schedule, OP and her fiancé had plans for a day date, and that was ruined. She loves her son but wants some kid-free time too. Instead of blowing up, she left to run an errand and cool down.
"I feel like I could be the a–hole because obviously I'm also a parent to our child. And I feel like I might be a little petty to act this way. I know it will start an argument as well," she wrote.
Is she justified to be a bit aggravated?
Some commenters thought she might have overreacted.
Redditors understood why she was upset, but some think she needed to calm herself down.
As this person suggested, "Take a deep breath and talk to him about how you feel. Communication will go a long way. Sleep deprivation also makes everything feel much worse than it is. Hope you all manage to have a great day and sleep better tonight!"
Another Redditor understood her plight and commented, "NAH – you're understandably annoyed, and both of you are stressed as is normal when you have a toddler. Thing is, do you really want to have this fight for one day to yourself? Will it be worth it, will you be able to enjoy your day off?"
OP was giving some people jerk vibes.
A few Redditors took her post as complaining and selfish.
"Ngl I'm gonna have to go with YTA. Reasoning. To follow," one person wrote. "You said you both had plans. This means he's aware your busy so he opted in to care for child. So he didn't put anything on you, and if he thought it out to call him out of it and not make you do it he obviously knew and simply didn't alter your plans."
Another commenter felt like OP and her fiancé both blew it. "Instead of talking to your fiancé about this, you run to a forum to give your side of the story to justify what you already know will be AH behavior," the person explained. "Calm down, Talk to your fiancé like an adult, partner, and parent. Be open to what they may or may not respond with, and go from there."
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OP followed up with an update.
She wrote that after looking at the comments and calming down, she changed her perspective.
"Hey everyone! I want to thank everyone for all the advice. I wrote this post in a place of annoyance and exhaustion, and we have worked everything out," she shared. "I ran to the store to cool off while they were asleep and came back home to two very happy guys waiting for me. It honestly immediately washed away any stress from the morning. Turns out we're having a family day and moving our date to this weekend while grandma watches the kid. Thanks again!"
Yay for a happy ending.
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