Waking up a toddler and wrangling them in the morning to get them dressed and out of the door is no small feat. Their tiny, squirmy bodies twist and contort in ways that are unimaginable. That flexibility, paired with a strong will, can have your morning routine feeling like a full workout.
A father recently took to Reddit saying that his wife was struggling to get their 3-year-old ready for day care in the mornings. So much so that she made him late for work. He came up with a strategy but wondered if it makes him an a–hole.
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One frustrated dad said his wife 'drags her feet' getting their son fed and dressed for day care in the morning.
The Redditor has enacted an “if he’s not ready, he stays at home” policy for his wife and their 3-year-old son. This dad, a 33-year-old man, explained that he generally drops his son off at day care in the morning and his wife’s mother will pick up him the evening.
“My wife cannot drive so she unfortunately cannot take him,” he shared. The OP wrote that if he and his son are out of the door at 8:45 a.m., he can drop him off at day care and still be on time for work. But he explained that his wife “drags her feet with getting him fed and ready, so she has caused me to be late multiple times."
“I am in a field where I simply cannot be late, and therefore this situation is unacceptable. I have been late four times since he started going to daycare, and my wife has only gotten less consistent,” he explained.
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After being late on four separate occasions, he decided to just walk out and leave their son with his mother.
Last week, he realized that his wife was running behind with their son and he was going to be late again. So instead of letting that happen, he simply walked out of the door. Naturally, his wife was not happy about that.
“She called me screaming angrily,” the original poster wrote. “But I told her that if she didn’t want him to stay home, she should have had him ready on time.”
The next day, he was ready on time. But the day after, she fell back into her old pattern. And the OP walked out again. When he got back home at 11 p.m., his wife had a lot to say.
The additional details made the OP look less like the villain.
The OP asked if his policy made him an a–hole and wondered if there was something he was missing. The truth of the story came out in the comments section when other Reddit users had additional questions. The OP explained that he gets home at 11 p.m. because he works two jobs while his wife is unemployed.
He said that they cannot afford their current lifestyle and day care on his daytime salary alone. His wife is unemployed and doesn’t drive due to anxiety and is home during day.
The OP said he can't help his wife in the morning because he works two jobs and needs the extra sleep.
The OP explained that after he gets home from work, he has to be asleep within an hour. During that time though, he manages to do household chores and his own laundry. He doesn’t help his wife get their son ready in the morning because he sleeps until 8:20 a.m. to get seven hours of sleep each night. And then on Sundays, he plays with his son for the majority of the day. With all of the additional details, the Reddit community determined he is not the a–hole.
Reddit users were concerned about the OP burning out.
“Your wife – doesn’t drive, doesn’t work, doesn’t look after the kid all day and STILL cannot get him sorted on time so you can take him to daycare and be at work on time and not lose your job,” one user summarized. "The job that’s paying for her entire lifestyle to do nothing. This is a bigger problem than the kid not being ready on time. This is a come-to-Jesus talk time with your wife.”
Some expressed concerns about burnout. “And you do realize this is not a sustainable arrangement,” another user pointed out. This same user also theorized about what may be going on with the mom in this scenario. “If she wants this to work, as a wife and mother, she needs to actively find treatment for her anxiety disorder. Was she like this before having a child? Could it be some kind of extended PPD that got worse?”
Whatever the reason, she clearly needs to get some help getting her mental health under control so that she and her husband can share family and household responsibilities and he doesn't have to bear the burden all on his own.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
