Being asked to be the maid of honor in a bride's wedding is, in fact, an honor. This position symbolizes the bond between the bride and the MOH, and is a choice that many brides don't take lightly. Of course, some people have expectations as to who a bride should choose as her MOH … insert sister.
Do you have to have your sister as your MOH if you're not close and have a friend who has always been more of a sister to you than your own blood?
One bride-to-be's family pressured her into making her sister MOH and, after some pretty crappy behavior, she ended up downgrading her to just a wedding guest. Is it wrong for the bride to have who she wants in her wedding? She visited Reddit's AITA forum to get some feedback.
The bride and her BFF are super close.
Lots of friends are closer than family, and in the original poster's case, this is particularly true. She and her sister don't share the same bond, and she wasn't keen on the idea of making her the MOH in her wedding. But their mother got involved and out of guilt, she did what her family told her to do.
"My sister and I don't have the best relationship but my parents and even my best friend said I should make her maid of honor as it was expected to I did," OP wrote. "I'm closer with my best friend but she said she didn't want to cause a family feud and she was happy being one of my bridesmaids."
OP's sister treats her pretty unkindly.
First, her sister started with comments about OP's ring and her fiancé being cheap because the ring is a sapphire instead of a diamond. But OP contends it's not about being cheap. She wanted to be different and thought "plain diamonds were boring."
Then, OP's sister got nasty while they went dress shopping. OP tried on a few princess-style dresses but opted to try a mermaid style, too. Her sister started running her mouth and really upset OP.
"I tried on a mermaid style and walked out and she said loudly that my stomach was hanging out and it (the dress) wasn't the one for me. To be honest I didn't feel the best in the dress but her saying that loud enough for all the staff and other customers to hear was so humiliating. I walked backed into the dressing room and cried and the girl who was working with me told me I should take some time," she explained. The comment ruined the whole day, and OP left with nothing.
She gave her sister the boot.
OP was done with her sister's crap and told her that she was no longer the MOH, or in the wedding party at all! She downgraded her to guest, and OP didn't care how she felt about it. Well, her mom sided with her sister and started some BS. She is all about blood being thicker than water, and can't believe OP would do this to her sister.
"I told my best friend she is now the maid of honor and we have planned another shopping trip with just her and my mom. My mom thinks since I did gain weight the fat shaming comment wasn't unjustified so I'm even debating leaving her out of it. AITA here?" OP asked on Reddit.
Sisters aren't always attached at the hip.
OP, Redditors agree that your sister obviously isn't your best friend and she doesn't have to be. You are entitled to make your own choices about who you are closest to. Redditors feel like your family needs to understand that.
"Tell your parents that family isn't always blood, but also people who you choose to be your family," a Redditor suggested. "That your best friend is your chosen sister."
"By the way, caramel is thicker than blood," someone else wrote. "So is whipped cream. In the grand scheme of things, blood isn't really all that big a deal. Especially at a party."
"NTA," another comment reads. "Enjoy your day with your sis as a guest. You don't need her negativity; it's your choice who you have for your MOH. And what's wrong with your mom? Fat shaming is NEVER okay, and if she thinks it is, she doesn't need to be involved with the dress shopping either."
Redditors think OP should throw the whole family away.
Her last comment was pretty eye-opening for a lot of Redditors. Maybe OP's sister is getting her horrible behavior from their mother. If that's the case, Redditors think they both need to go.
Someone advised: "Tell your mom that commenting on someone's body or weight due to weight gain is LITERALLY FAT SHAMING. If she can't support you now, she can stay home."
"NTA," another reader agreed. "Sounds like you should downgrade your Mom and Sister from 'Guests' to 'Members of humanity who are not invited to my wedding.'"
"If you feel like your mom will continue to bring up the sitch with your sister, don't invite her either!" someone else commented. "Or at least make it clear that you don't want to hear about it while shopping and want positive vibes only. Depending on her response, you can make your determination."
"NTA," wrote one commenter. "Enjoy your day with your sis as a guest. You don't need her negativity; it's your choice who you have for your MOH. And what's wrong with your mom? Fat shaming is NEVER okay, and if she thinks it is, she doesn't need to be involved with the dress shopping either."
OP, this is your wedding and you should do what you want.
Redditors feel OP should do what she wants with her best friend and forget the drama. This is her day, and no one should ruin it. If her sister and mom can't be kind and loving, they don't need to be a part of her wedding. Her BFF seems to be more of a family member to her than them anyway.
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