"How did you become so confident?" — that's a question I get all of the time.
To be honest, it has been a long process. I spent most of my life wishing for a smaller body. To me, being thin meant being happy.
As I type this today, I am not thin, but I am happy — that started to grow as soon as I stopped trying to wish myself thin and accepted (and appreciated) myself for who I am and how I look right now.
So many of us wish we could go back in time and let ourselves know that things will get better. This is what I wish I could tell my younger self…
Stop pinning your hope on the wish that you'll thin out when you get older.
Sure, some people lose their "baby fat" and grow into a thinner adult, but that's not how it goes for everyone — including myself.
I would like younger Jessica to know that her body is not a work in progress. It is something she should be proud of no matter what.
Fat people can play sports and work out and do anything they want.
When all you think about is being thin, you exclude yourself from activities you might actually enjoy. Do what makes you happy and seize every opportunity and desire that you have.
You are more than your body.
I always felt like the ugly sister, friend, classmate, and co-worker because I estimated my value based on my weight. People would say to me, "Your self-worth will improve when you lose the weight," and I believed them.
That couldn't be more wrong. As women, we are so much more than our bodies, whether they fit society's beauty ideals or not. We are friends, we are mothers, we are smart, we are funny — we are so many things.
Don't be afraid to eat in front of people.
Eating in public is difficult when you feel scrutinized. But remember that most of that is in your head — and if someone is looking at you wrong for simply eating, that's 100% a them problem.
You can be fierce at ANY size.
Having a plus-size role model would have been a game-changer when I was young. I'm so glad girls today have stars like Ashley Graham, Melissa McCarthy, Danielle Brooks, and Dascha Polanco. They remind us of our own beauty and prove that the perfect body comes in many forms.
You are worthy of love.
Whether your body changes or it doesn't, you are worthy of love right now. You don't have to wait until you're three sizes smaller to be open to receiving love.
Stop hiding yourself. Don't be afraid to be the center of attention.
I missed out on so many experiences because I was embarrassed of how I looked. I told myself I'd do those things later, when I got thinner.
The reality: Life gives very few do-overs. Live every moment to the fullest.
Yes, you can wear crop tops.
I had so many drawers filled with "weight-loss goal" clothes. What I've learned now is that style has no size. Wear that crop top, bodycon dress, skirt, dress, or whatever makes you happy.
It gets better!
Things may seem hard and stressful now, but they definitely get better. You'll learn to appreciate your body the way it is. It's going to be a long road, but you'll get there and you'll never look back.
