
When the COVID-19 pandemic began, there was so much that we didn't know: how serious it would be, how to best protect ourselves, and how much of a normal life would end up having to change. Few people would have predicted that the pandemic would last this long and that so many families would end up spending a year isolating at home. As kids began distance learning and many people started working from home, it seems clear now that all of this togetherness was bound to have an impact on marriages.
As we hit the one year mark on the pandemic, many wives are taking a moment to reflect on what a year in isolation has done to the state of their marriages. From better to worse to much, much worse, read on for real stories about what marriage looks like right now.
Quality Time

"This year has been great for our marriage. We spend a lot more time together, but we are apart during the work day as we go to our own corners of the house to log in. We have spent good quality family time together, and life hasn’t felt rushed. We are enjoying each other while also figuring out how to partner with each other on new/different challenges. My husband will probably remain remote post-pandemic, and I hope to have some flexibility. Ultimately I think it has been a blessing for us." — Stephanie J., St. Paul, Minnesota
Never Ending Stress

"This year has sucked for our marriage. We had our third baby in May 2020. The inherent stress of adding another family member was magnified by the lack of help and support we could get from family and friends. As we are both essential workers, we both carried the never ending stress of possibly exposing our kids or each other to a novel virus. Our marriage is strong, and we will make it through this, but I’m under no illusions about how hard this has been on our relationship." — Name withheld by request
The Right One

"I have many words to say about this. While I never questioned it, I now know I married the right person. This year has been unbelievably challenging and we've felt like a strong team. Both of our moms died, he was laid off for months, distance learning is not a great fit for our kiddo, etc., etc. I'm super thankful for him and our friendship." — Meegan H., St. Paul, Minnesota
Roommates

"After a year of both of us working from home and the kids doing school from home, I am sick of everyone in this house. This year has not been great in terms of being close as a couple. We're basically just roommates at this point. There is no romance or sex anymore." — Name withheld by request
Closer Than Ever

"We are actually closer than ever, I think. We've figured out a new normal and found that we both enjoy seeing the other one in work mode. I feel like I understand my husband better now that I understand the pressures of his work life more." — Jennie G., Stockton, California
More Anxiety

"We are good together in crisis, so in that respect it’s reinforced our marriage. But the constant togetherness and stress has exacerbated both our respective anxiety issues and that’s damaging." — Janna N., Shoreview, Minnesota
More Frisky

"We’ve faced some pretty terrible stuff in the last year, but it has only made us appreciate each other more. And while there has been very much stress, our home life is much calmer and we have much more time to, um, get frisky during the day than ever before." — Renee M., Logan, Utah
COVID Divorce

"My marriage ended during COVID! Good times. I wouldn’t say it ended because of COVID, but pandemic didn’t help. I figured out some of the shady things he was up to when we were stuck at home all the time. I would not recommend separating, but staying in the same house, while doing divorce negotiations during a pandemic. It made it infinitely harder." — Name withheld by request
Need More Counseling

"Without being able to escape to work or social activities, the pandemic has really put a spotlight on issues we've had for a long time. We're doing virtual couples therapy now. I don't know how it will end up in the long run, but I wouldn't say COVID was to blame, it was just pulling back the curtains." — Laura O., Leesburg, Virginia
Who Are We Now?

"My husband and I met while staying at a hostel in Amsterdam. Travel is a huge part of who we are as a couple and family. We usually are in another country at least a month every year, so being in one place for a whole year and not traveling has been hard and forced us to think about who we are when we can't do the thing we love the most." — Mari H., Mobile, Alabama
Not On My Side

"It's been a challenge. He's been an essential worker. I lost my job last March and we had a new baby. We definitely connect well together and are great at communicating. But we're both navigating raising kids (we're both stubborn and both wear the pants). Our 2 1/2-year-old is now undoubtedly on the spectrum. He's been in denial while I've been with our son every waking moment. It's the first time I've felt like he 'isn't on my side.'" — Danielle T., St. Paul, Minnesota
Over It

"Between the fact that the pandemic has been worse for women overall and the last year of the Trump presidency, I'm pretty much over it when it comes to men, including my husband. I wish I was a lesbian." — Becky R., Madison, Wisconsin
Getting Better

"In the beginning it was TERRIBLE for our marriage. My husband totally shut down and I had to do almost 100% of the distance learning (even though he was a teacher and working from home). We did marriage counseling via zoom. In about June he finally got it together and things have been better than ever since. We've gotten so used to being together during the day that it is hard for us to be apart (which is something I never thought I'd say – we're both very independent)." — Louisa R., Tucson, Arizona
Same as Before

"My husband hasn't been able to travel for work and my work is outside the home so he's taken on a lot more of the domestic life. It's hard sometimes but I would say our marriage is about the same (good) as before." — Christina O., St. Paul, Minnesota
My Turf

"As a stay-at-home mom, I'm used to the house basically being my turf, and I was used to some time by myself every day once the kids were at school. This year has been tough having everyone home. The amount of parenting and cleaning is so much more, I never have time for myself (I miss my yoga practice a lot) and I'm annoyed when my husband gives me 'helpful hints' on how to run things better." — DeeDee R., Wyoming, Michigan
No Change

"I don't feel like my marriage was super affected. There were a few months when my husband worked from home, but out of sight and out of reach in the basement. It was nice to have him here. He could hold the baby while I loaded laundry, or watch the monitor so I could run to a playground or something with the big kids. It was also nice that he couldn't go to any conferences (though I think he missed it). We've always been good about giving each other space (both space for alone time and permission to feel strong emotions), we just got lots of practice at it." — Katia W., Albany, New York
Mad Forever

"My husband was one of the people who refused to take COVID seriously and wouldn't stop going to work and refused to wear a mask, even when I begged him to. We all got COVID in the fall and he died from it in early December. I loved him but I will be mad forever that he didn't protect us or himself. So, yeah, it hasn't been great for our marriage." — Name withheld by request
Cracks Are Showing

"Our cracks are starting to show. He is not traveling and is using the dining room as his office and everyone is getting fed up with it. We are also arguing more than we ever have about the division of household chores. I think it had brought the need for some hard conversations to the surface. Not marriage-ending conversations, unless we let them fester. It has just been a lot of time together." — Emily K., Green Bay, Wisconsin
So Lucky

"I feel sort of bad saying this, but the pandemic and having both of us work from home has been so amazing. I had our first baby in February 2020 and I would never have expected that we'd both get to be home for her first year. Not having to put her in day care and having both of us home for child care and bonding time makes me feel so lucky." — Sasha C., Sioux Center, Iowa
We're Done

"We weren't in the best place before the pandemic but the pandemic magnified everything. I'm mentally 100% done and ready to ask for a divorce. I'm just waiting until things are more back to normal so we can deal with the logistics of finding a new place for him to live and getting the kids on a routine again. It will be hard, but not as hard as this year." — Name withheld by request