As parents, it’s not unusual for sex not to be a top priority. Babies and kids need a lot of attention, and it can be hard to find the time and energy to connect with your partner.
Everyone defines a satisfactory — even great — sex life a little differently. But what’s true for anyone is that certain signs indicate you should focus on your sexual health.
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There's Pain During Sex
No Desire
Waxing and waning desire is normal, particularly if you’re in a long-term relationship. But if your lack of desire is persistent, making you unhappy, or causing you concern, it’s important to talk to your doctor. It could be a sign of changing hormones, depression, or relationship issues. Don’t assume it will fix itself.
You're Never Aroused
The inability to get aroused can be a sign of erectile dysfunction. In a 2010 study of 800 men, those who reported fewer sexual thoughts and desires were more likely nine years later to suffer from ED. Women can suffer from lack of arousal, too, often a side effect of medications, menopause, relationship issues, or depression.
You Can't Orgasm
Anorgasmia, the inability to orgasm, has several causes, such as sexual inhibition, inexperience, guilt, past sexual trauma, and other mental health reasons. It can also be caused by certain medications, chronic diseases, or simply insufficient stimulation. Orgasm is one of the great pleasures in life, and if you are missing this aspect, your doctor might be able to help.
It's Been Awhile
If it’s been a while, but you’re going back in, understand that your vagina might be drier, it may take longer to get aroused than in the past, and former favorite positions might no longer work for you. But don’t give up! Focus on what your body — and mind — need. Work with your partner to ease back in.
Vaginal Dryness
Aging, changing hormones, and certain medications might cause vaginal dryness. Many over-the-counter products will give you what you need. If you’re worried that dryness is excessive, or you think it’s contributing to pain during sex and products haven’t helped, reach out to your doctor for ideas and possible prescriptions.
You Suffer Incontinence
Urinary incontinence is bad enough, but a recent study found that it might be connected to sexual health problems, including lowered desire and lack of arousal. The good news is, incontinence is often easily treatable. Don’t be embarrassed to share what’s going on with your doctor.
