We all have different ways of parenting, and we are constantly learning what works well and what isn't so great. Even though we may not all agree on how to handle every situation, hopefully we are all on board with the idea that hurting, shaming, and humiliating our children is never the way to go.
Kelsie Long, a TikTok mom who prefers gentle parenting, shared that she was mom-shamed for not hitting her child when he had an accident in his pants. The incident upset the mom, who defended her parenting style and said words are just as effective at teaching lessons as hands.
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Her son was acting like a typical 3-year-old.
Long explained in the video that her little guy had an accident in his pants and smooshed some food into the carpet. No, it probably wasn't the most fantastic day for the mother and son pair, but the parenting advice someone had for Long wasn't her style.
She said the person mom-shamed her for gentle parenting and told her they would have "Whooped my son's a–."
Long said, "That's just not me. They told me I was a bad, selfish mom for not punishing him."
Long approached the situation with love and not anger.
She explained to her 3-year-old that accidents happen but asked him to tell her he had to use the bathroom the next time. Long also made her son pick up the food, throw it away, and take a second to calm down so they could talk.
She said her gentle approach got the response that she wanted. His behavior improved, and both felt better.
The mom shamer, on the other hand, called Long "stupid" for not being more aggressive with her son.
The gentle mom disagrees.
Long doesn't believe in hitting her kids and doesn't plan to change her parenting style. "We don't have to beat our children to teach them lessons. Children deserve respect," she said. "They don't know what's good or bad. It's our duty to teach them."
She added that we need to treat others how we want to be treated and said she isn't about to mistreat her son.
Other parents applauded her choices.
Thousands of TikTokers liked her video, and hundreds left comments supporting her.
"Ur a great mom, beating and traumatizing him is not a good parenting route and older people never will get that fear based respect isn't good," one supporter wrote.
"Your not stupid . Children are humans too, and they have to be taught. You can't expect a child to know right and wrong without being taught," another commenter agreed.
"I don't think that's gentle parenting… that's just plain ol parenting… like really hit your 2yo for having an accident?" someone asked.
Lots of people turned on the shamer. "The reason why they beat their children is because they are being selfish," someone wrote.
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She offered help to other parents wanting to try a gentler method.
Long responded to a mother who wanted advice on being calmer with her kids. First, she applauded her for reaching out and warned others not to shame her. She admitted that she has "off days" when she gets angry. She separates herself from her son and recenters herself.
"After I've calmed down, I go inside, and I sit him down, and I talk to him like an adult," she shared. She works through the situation with him, and they both learn.
A lot of people like her ideas and want to use her methods.
"God I love you so much you are so calm I need you in my life 4 kids and blow up a lot everyday," a mom wrote.
"No way we all out here showing up battling on and anyone trying to do better well done sis!! here for ya ," another mom praised.
