What to Know
TikTok influencer Tia Stokes is known for dancing her way through her 2020 cancer diagnosis. She went viral for dancing every day of her treatment. The mom of five now uses her platform to dance for other individuals with diagnoses, but when she shared a video on TikTok of herself dancing at the gravesite of a young girl who died after her own battle with cancer, not everyone was quick to applaud her efforts.
To some, it’s giving Whitney Leavitt dancing next to her RSV-diagnosed baby in the hospital before MomTok really took off. Others thought it was a strange way to honor the little girl who had passed away, especially since Tia’s video was filmed directly after the funeral service. While there might be some middle ground in there somewhere, it’s hard to deny the flack she got from other social media users.
She said she danced to “honor” the little girl, but people aren’t having it.
@thetiabeestokes Comment “JUST KEEP DANCING” 🕊️🩷 The biggest lesson I learned from @briestrongerthancancer was this no matter how hard life gets she remained dancing and showing Gods love through kindness.🩷🫶🏾 She got it from her mama🥹🩷🫶🏾 and her dad love you Mitch!!! Tbh…some wanted me to dance before I said the closing prayer and although I know Brielle would have loved it I just didn’t feel right about it….so I waited….but I knew she wanted us to dance I knew it….especially her dance one more time 🩷🫶🏾🥹✨ to honor her and I feel like her dance was gift to the world from her as a reminder to keep fighting! So at the grave site Kendra said “tia let’s dance for Brielle” 🥹🫶🏾🩷🕊️ because that’s what she would want. So we did. 🥹🫶🏾✨ we left crying and dancing celebrating Brielle and the legacy of joy and light she left with us her on earth 🩷🫶🏾✨🥹 Love you sweet girl. Just keep dancing. Him. You. Me. We. We got this Xo Tia bee day 16 cancer free • survivor • living for today
♬ original sound – Tia Stokes
In her video, Tia dances with the mom and dad of Brielle, a little girl who died from complications related to her cancer diagnosis. In the caption, Tia wrote that she danced with Brielle’s parents as a way to “honor” Brielle at her funeral. And, she admitted, people allegedly asked her to dance during the service.
“TBH… some wanted me to dance before I said the closing prayer and although I know Brielle would have loved it I just didn’t feel right about it,” Tia wrote in the caption of her video. “So I waited…but I knew she wanted us to dance. I knew it…especially her dance one more time.”
Although the sentiment behind Tia’s gesture was about honoring Brielle, the act of dancing at the actual gravesite, despite Tia being with Brielle’s parents, was too much for some.
One user commented, “I have no words. but I do have extreme nausea.”
Another added, “I just feel like there is a line….and maybe a graveside TikTok video crosses it?”
Another user admitted that she understands the idea of dancing in honor of someone who has died. But making it a TikTok and posting it, at least to her, isn’t the move.
“I understand continuing to dance, but I can’t understand doing a TikTok at her gravesite…please don’t come at me!!!” She commented. “I know everyone grieves differently. I just don’t get it. A TikTok???”
Others commented on how “chronically online” people are, and how this video is evidence of that. It especially speaks to the TikTok culture of normalizing behavior that, according to some of the comments, is inappropriate.
“TikTok has taken over real life,” someone else shared in the comments. “I love that you all are dancing for her, but this is just really upsetting.”
Another user said that dancing at the actual gravesite with the coffin in view adds an unnecessary layer. It is arguably too intimate to share online, even if Brielle shared her story with social media followers before her death.
Afterward, Tia posted an Instagram video to clap back at those who spoke out against her original dancing video. She says in the video that people grieve in different ways, likely in reference to Brielle’s parents. And she stands behind her TikTok.
Still, there are plenty of other users who still don’t quite get it.
“Meanwhile the people in the background are mourning,” someone added under the Tiktok. “Time and place for sure.”
