I like big sunglasses. I always have. Even when smaller frames were en vogue in the 1990s, I always gravitated toward the larger shades. Recently, I grabbed a pair on Amazon that are gigantic and green, and they are always getting attention. I was shopping with my son recently, and a woman complimented the green glasses perched on my hair. She had a bag I liked, so I told her so in return. This turned into a brief exchange of pleasantries that seemed to aggravate my hurried teenager.
As the conversation ended and we walked away, he asked why I spent so much time talking to a stranger about how much I liked her outfit. Soon, we were into a life lesson that I hope he will take to heart as much as I did when I was around his age.
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Everyone likes to be complimented.
As my son and I continued our shopping trip, I explained that my mother had taught me when I was much younger that compliments are an easy way to make someone feel good. If you see someone wearing something you like or doing something that brings you joy, tell them.
I, too, would become annoyed when I was teenager — it seemed like my mother would talk to every person in line at the grocery store about their shoes or their darling child — but as I got older, it started to make sense. I could see the effect of a kind word on another person, and it made me want to do the same thing.
Acknowledging someone can change their entire day.
I explained to my son that sometimes you can tell when someone needs a compliment. We talked about nonverbal cues and how people's facial expressions, posture, and even the speed of their walk can tell you a lot about their day. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out conversation with a stranger; a very simple "I like your shirt" can be all it takes to change the trajectory of someone's day.
It's easy to find things to compliment people about.
He told me, "Mom, I always like things. If I pointed out everything, I would never stop complimenting people." This made me smile, and I encouraged him to just stick with what felt right at the moment. And he's right. It's not necessary to compliment every single person you see, but if you consciously try to change the way you see the world and pass on a kind word and a smile, it can be a powerful tool.
I noticed a change in him that day.
We spent the next couple of hours shopping, and he complimented two strangers. Once, it was a man's shoes; the next, it was a very small child with glasses. The little girl couldn't have been more than 5 years old and was fidgeting with the blue frames on her face. He said, "Hey, I like your glasses," and her face positively lit up. Her mom was taken aback and said, "That's so sweet. Thank you. She just got them and is getting used to them."
My son, a life-long glasses wearer, then explained a bit of his own story with glasses and shared an equally bright smile.
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He told me I was right.
As a mother of teenage boys, this is something you don't hear much about, but my son very sincerely said that complimenting that little girl's glasses made a difference in his day, too. "I honestly never thought about why I should point that kind of stuff out before, but I am so glad you told me. You are right mom, making her smile made me happy," he said.
One compliment a day is all it takes to positively impact a society often filled with cynicism and ugliness. Kindness has a ripple effect that can truly change the world. Teaching our children empathy and love when they are young will help them to be adults who look at the world with a more caring lens. Try it — I promise you will not be disappointed. And you never know what those kind words might mean to someone else.
