From the second you even discuss pregnancy, everyone and their mom decides you need to know everything they know, that very second — whether you asked or not.
Some parenting advice is sound, and some is really unhelpful. Everyone has had someone tell them the old wives' tales like "Holding a baby spoils them" or "Babies need to cry to clear out their lungs."
But when I asked around for infant care advice people have been given, I was shocked at some of the unique and borderline-crazy things I heard.
ivansmom07 mentions hearing the idea of putting pee in a baby's eye to fix a clogged tear duct.
Mandie Martz Webb Forbes recalls her in-law's warning not to get off of Zoloft because there was the chance she'd murder her kids — which apparently "happens a lot."
sherriet had to put a stop to her mother's solution to ease teething — letting baby gnaw on a bone. Supposedly in addition to being the perfect texture, it's also nutritious. Say WHAT?!
RozyMama's own pediatrician swore that if you didn't start bottle-feeding a newborn "at least two ounces of water every day," they'd never drink it when they were older.
My own in-laws gave me this cure for colic: blow cigarette smoke over a spoonful of formula (only formula!) and feed it to the baby.
_Mommy2RandR_ was told to literally flip the baby around — as in like a 360-degree tumble — if they had their days and nights mixed up.
Some other hilarious and baffling advice:
- Breastfeeding beyond a year stretches your nipples to the point where you will need plastic surgery to put them back.
- Ceiling fans and wind blow air in the baby's face, which causes colic.
- A baby that spits up breast milk doesn't like the flavor and needs formula.
- Babies need hats and/or socks at all times, regardless of the weather.
- If you're white, hire a black babysitter (or vice versa) or else your baby will grow up racist.
- Tape a coin to the baby's belly button to prevent an outie/umbilical hernia.
- A baby who hasn't been spanked is on his way to becoming a devil child.
- Newborns need to cry to clear out their lungs or they will develop pneumonia.
- Cats smell milk on the baby's breath and can suffocate them while trying to lick/suck it out of the baby's mouth while they're sleeping.
- Breastfeeding past the first birthday creates kids who desire incestuous relations.
- Sitting a newborn upright in your lap causes spine damage.
- Keep a baby awake all day to get them to sleep through the night.
- Don't teach sign language or the baby will never speak.
- Dipping a pacifier in honey before giving it to a baby cures colic.
- A spoonful of cough syrup every night helps babies sleep.
What's the craziest bit of baby advice you've ever heard?
Image via upturnedface/Flickr
