It's occurred to me more than once that raising an extremely gifted child would be incredibly hard. So many decisions to make about what sort of educational environment he or she would thrive in, and the inevitable terrifying moment when you realize your pint-sized offspring has mastered quantum physics while you still have to mouth-breathe over calculating a 15 percent tip at lunch.
Luckily, I don't have to deal with such challenges, as my children seem to be developing smack dab in the middle of the bell curve when it comes to brains. They're whip-smart in some areas, totally clueless in others. All in all, they seem like perfectly typical kids, and I'm grateful for it.
That said, my funny, adorable, and quick-witted children can be BREATHTAKINGLY stupid about certain things. For instance, the following 10 conversations, which happen every single week in our house.
1. I drag the vacuum out of the hall closet, laboriously untangle the cord, pull it out to the living room, and plug it in.
Children: "Are you vacuuming?"
2. The kitchen counters are covered with various food items. A pan sizzles. I'm walking between the refrigerator and the stove, stopping to chop things or clean off surfaces. No plates have been filled.
Children: "Is dinner ready yet?"
3. It's a typical weekday, and we're going through our familiar routines of eating cereal and readying backpacks.
Children: "Do we have school today?"
4. I tell a child to get his sports shirt on, get on his cleats, and find his water bottle.
Child: "Do I have practice tonight?"
5. After a week of repeatedly discussing our weekend travel plans, it's Saturday morning and I tell the kids to get their suitcases ready.
Children: "Where are we going?"
6. Water pounds on the roof and cascades from the gutters. The streets are pockmarked and filling with puddles. Also, we live in Oregon.
Children: "Is it raining?"
7. "Get your pajamas on, guys! Brush your teeth and go to the bathroom! Pick out the book you want!"
Children: "Is it bedtime?"
8. I'm mid-pour with two glasses of milk.
Children: "Can we have milk?"
9. I pull out the Trident package, pop a piece in my mouth, and blow a fruit-scented bubble.
Children: "Are you chewing gum?"
10. "After this cartoon finishes, you guys are done with TV, okay? This is the last one. Okay? Guys? Can I get an acknowledgement over here?"
*children nod*
*time passes*
*cartoon finishes*
Children: "Can we watch one more??"
Do your kids ask inane questions like these?
Image via Linda Sharps
