Sooner or later, your kids are going to ask you that dreaded question: Where do babies come from? Sure, you can completely joke about it and claim they were bought at a garage sale or found under a rock. Or you can sit them down and explain exactly what happens. Or better yet, ask them where they think babies come from.
Chances are, their explanations will be far more hilarious, and you can tell them how right they are. (For now.)
Check out #7! Oh my.
Where do your kids think babies come from?
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Brought to the Front Door
"My son thought the doctor who delivered him actually delivered him to our door! I corrected that real quick."
Apple Seeds
"When my cousin was four he told me he came from apple seeds. My daughter thought that mommies had the girls and daddies had the boys."
Looooong Kisses
"My kids saw someone kiss in a Batman cartoon and said, 'That's where babies come from. But only when the mommy and daddy kiss for a very long time.'"
Eggs
"My son said they come from eggs that pop out of a mommy's butt."
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Eating Too Much Pizza
"My son told me I ate a ton of pizza and got fat and then he popped out of my stomach naked and I dressed him and gave him kisses."
Santa's Secret
"In our house, Santa is the magical being that brings all kids of presents. So naturally, the kids were convinced that Santa also brought babies. But when I asked them how he gets them, my son responded, 'He steals them from other homes!'"
The Baby Store
"When my son was 4 or 5, I asked him where he thought babies came from. He said, 'The baby store! They have them in cages and stuff.'"
Mommy's Mouth
"My son said, 'The baby builds a ladder and crawls out the mother's mouth.'"
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eBay
"My oldest son asked me how much I paid for him on eBay."
Magic!
"My son told me when mommies take a baby pill, the baby grows. Then the mommy goes to the hospital, the doctor puts a blanket on her, then yells 'Abra cadabra' and pulls the baby out."
Baby For Dinner
"My daughter (who was at the time, age 3) told my sister-in-law (who was pregnant at the time) that she 'ate the baby and was going to poop it out.'"
Ground Dwellers
"My 3-year-old son found a hole in the back yard and told me his baby was going to crawl out of it. No idea where that came from — I'm definitely not pregnant."
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Drive Thru Order
"My cousin's daughter thinks McDonald's has a special recipe for babies. So if a mom wants a baby, she has to go order the McBaby and then it grows in her tummy until she poops it out."
Morning Sickness Copy
"I throw up so much while pregnant, so when we told our 4-year-old that Mommy was growing a baby in her tummy, he pondered it a while and then said, "So when the baby needs to come out, will you just throw up lots and lots and the baby will come out?"
Good Catch!
"My oldest originally thought he jumped out of a plane over the hospital and Daddy caught him."
Repeat Operation
"My oldest son told me that my husband cut a hole in my stomach and put his brother in. And when my younger son was ready to come out, the doctor opened the hole back up."
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Lunch Table Tales
"When I was in fifth grade there was a kid in sixth grade who told everyone at the lunch table that the husband puts his penis into the wife's belly button and pees, and then she poops out a kid later!"
Only One Option
"I'm almost 17 weeks with third and my older kids are 5 and 7. My 5 year old was asking where babies come from and my son (the 7-year-old) pipes up, 'Only girls can have babies! You see, boys have pushed out little willies and the babies have nowhere to go. They can't fit.' I left it at that."
The Store, Obviously
"My son said to me, 'Well, toys come from Toys"R"Us, so babies come from Babies"R"Us.' He thought you could order them online like toys. I went with it for a couple years — much easier than the truth."
No Veggies Here
"My 4-year-old says babies come from vegetables. 'That's why I don't eat them,' she says! Nice try, kid."
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