There's a reason parents often are eager to potty train their children: Changing a toddler's diaper is insane! Long gone are the days of placing a mostly-immobile child on a changing pad, doing a little wipe and change, and calling it a day. Before changing a toddler's diaper, you basically need to listen to "Eye of the Tiger" to get motivated to do it. Also, you probably should stretch. And you most definitely should put on protective equipment.
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Here, parents, the 12 stages of changing a toddler's diaper.
You look over and see your child doing "the stance." You know in t-minus three minutes, it's gonna be go time. You start preparing.
You try to swiftly scoop your child up, knowing that the last thing he wants to do is lay on a changing table for two grueling minutes of sheer hell.
But you miss. He's too quick!
After some chasing, you've got him. And you try to carry him in such a way that you don't … make the situation down there worse than it already is. Really, it's an art, and you're kind of proud of the fact that you've perfected it.
You enter his room and he's flailing. He knows what's coming. You're ducking left, ducking right.
You lay him down on the table and begin to undress him. Legs are everywhere. The word "no" is being yelled. You're trying to remain calm and focused.
Just as you open the diaper, your little one decides to crane his neck and try to roll over. It's fantastic.
You're wiping and cleaning at the speed of light. Every second matters in this game. You are determined that you and your child will leave the room poop- and injury-free.
You've got him clean but haven't yet put on the fresh diaper. He suddenly has a burning desire to crawl.
You manage to wrangle him and get a clean diaper and his pants back on. Score.
Then you realize the Diaper Genie is full and you're out of diapers. Fun times.
You then remember that you're out of wine, too. A trip to the store isn't so bad.
Does your toddler sit still when you change him?
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