Sybil Sanchez, like many moms, loves posting photos on Facebook of her cuddling her 2-year-old daughter, Shprintzy. Only on February 1, she logged onto the social networking site to find that one of her photos had been flagged and was under review to be removed. Why? Because it showed her daughter breastfeeding. Yeah, and … so what?
"The notification from Facebook said that my photo had been flagged for 'nudity,'" says Sybil, a 45-year-old lactation coach in Jeffersonville, New York, who works part-time at a mothers' milk bank. "My first reaction was 'what the heck?' Then I got angry."
And here's what really threw her for a loop: the flagged photo, shown below, barely shows any boob at all!
Seriously, Facebook?! Of course, as you've probably heard, the site has a long history of being squeamish about showing pictures of nursing moms. Up until recently, Facebook had banned such photos, claiming they were indecent. In mid-May of 2014, the company changed their policy and started allowing moms to post these pics. But as Sybil's experience makes clear, that doesn't protect moms from being shamed by so-called friends, who can still make the reports … and plenty of moms are still getting flack.
Sybil has posted plenty of nursing pics on Facebook before this one, but this was the first photo of hers to get flagged. And while she received another notification later that same day saying her photo had been "approved" and was deemed fine to keep up, she found the whole experience upsetting — particularly since it meant that someone within her network of "friends" had reported the photo. Only who?
"I still have no idea who reported me, since they can do so anonymously," she says. "And I find that hurtful. Whoever it is, it makes me think we shouldn't be friends! This is the dark side of Facebook: yes, it's a great way to connect with friends and gather a community around you, but people also feel like they can do and say more in writing than they'd say to your face, because there are no immediate consequences to it."
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But instead of feeling discouraged, Sybil fought back. For starters, she moved the "flagged" photo from the depths of her archives to the top of her Facebook profile. "My response was 'Oh, you have a problem with this? Well, I'm going to shove it back in your face even more!'" she says. Many of her friends, upon seeing the "flagged" photo, were baffled. "One friend said, 'Jennifer Lopez shows more boob than you do!'" Sybil recalls. "Others said it was beautiful."
Sybil also staged a virtual nurse-in on her Facebook page, encouraging other moms to post their breastfeeding pics. Many did — including one mom who had almost given up on breastfeeding before Sybil showed her the ropes. "The support was overwhelmingly touching," she says. Sybil is planning more virtual nurse-ins in the future — and is glad that she was able to turn this negative experience into a positive one.
"Just seeing all those nursing pics on my profile makes me feel great — you can really feel the oxytocin flowing," she says. "The barriers to breastfeeding run so deep, I'm glad I could do something small and tangible to push back."
How do you feel about breastfeeding photos on Facebook?
Image via Sybil Sanchez