Sidewalk chalk drawings done by kids are a treasure trove of weirdness. Sure, there are an impressively large number of rockets and trees that look like penises (why does every kid draw them that way?) but there are also a lot of words and pictures that expose us to a whole different kind of weird. Chalk art allows us to look through the eyes of children and say, "Nope. You're off by just a hair, and yes, that hair is on what appears to be a testicle."
Let's collectively shake our heads at these sidewalk chalk drawings done by kids that adults see quite differently.
Do you have any pictures of sidewalk chalk drawings by your kids that look like something a little different? Can you top #8?
Image via Imgur
And We Have Our First Penis
The child who drew this said it was a race car; a very tall race car with no doors or steering wheel. The thing is a death trap. Also, totally looks like a penis.
One Hand With One Purpose
So your little person has no feet, ears, or nose, but does have one hand to flip people off with? This guy can ride shotgun with us any time.
Mom's Job Is Weird
This a picture of "Mom's job." Not sure what mom actually does, but her child seems to think she works at an undersea strip club frequented by lobsters.
Kids Are Terrifying
Not saying we're wusses, but we are saying that if we read this on the sidewalk, we would run the rest of the way home. Unless the lack of an apostrophe was intentional, in which case we would be relieved that whatever was hunting us was hunting us no more.
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That's Sweet, Now Erase It
Ah, that time when children still don't know that the word "ball" is always funny, and that "I like to play with balls," is something that you can never say.
None Of This Makes Sense
The child who drew this said it was a "bug elevator." First of all, bugs don't need elevators. Second of all, we know we have the technology so we would like someone to build a bug elevator ASAP. And third, penis.
She Had Good Intentions
This was supposed to by the word "Hi," with a heart at the end. Instead, she wrote a love letter to a deadly virus.
Seriously, Though
It's even pink and white, y'all. We just can't.
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We'd Be Scared, Too
If we were in a canoe and a flying penis with four eyes started chasing us, we'd paddle pretty darn fast. We feel you, Stick Person.
Damn it, Kids
It's not funny…okay, it's pretty funny, but it's not nice to make fun of gullible people like me who will now have to cross the street to avoid whatever unknown terror lies ahead.
That's a Happy Turtle
We don't know much about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles except that they exist and the middle linebacker of the Seahawks is a big fan. But that is one happy ass ninja turtle.
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We are Officially Old
Now the kids are writing hashtags with sidewalk chalk. To us, it will always be a pound sign. #NeverForgetThePoundSign
Thank You, Nightmare
A robot jack-in-the-box with sharp teeth and a Santa hat? Yes, please! We were running out of nightmare fuel so this comes at a really good time for us.
You Can Stay
Now this is some sidewalk chalk art I can get behind.
Speaking of 'Behind'
Aaaaaaaaaaaand thank you for bringing us back down to earth. We think we'll go talk to the kids about how a mom's stomach is like a big squishy pillow and eat a Snickers bar in the corner like a dog.
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Just Stop, Honey
This is supposed to be one little girl's family, drawn as if they were all giraffes. Why? It doesn't matter. Because child. And can we please stop making feet look like balls? Come on, kids. Work with us.
This Kid Gets It
This kid isn't fooled; they know you're going to walk all over their chalk drawing no matter how nicely they ask you. Why? Because life is about dashed hopes and crushed dreams. And by the way, that sidewalk chalk will probably give you cancer.
Meet Every Single Family Picture
If there is one thing that unites all people, it's that our children will draw us all as stick figures with enormous heads. This particular child put more emphasis on noses and right hands than usual, and we appreciate their unique artistic vision.
Well Said
Nailed it. Nailed all of it.
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