I have two kids, neither of whom is what you'd call an adventurous eater. Although I offer them lots of chances to try new foods, I'm frequently shot down. In the last week alone, I've been told salsa is "too red," soup is "too wet," and a freshly baked fruit crisp was "weird looking."
Fine, kid, more delicious fruit crisp for me! And, no, you can't have any of the vanilla ice cream I've topped it with. Meanest. Mom. Ever.
When it comes to rejecting perfectly good food, kids are experts. And you have to hand it to them — sometimes they come up with really interesting excuses. Read on for some of the best, funniest, and weirdest picky-eating excuses our little non-foodies have come up with.
Image via iStock.com/roman023
One Bad Bite
"Because he once had a bite of peanut butter that tasted weird, and now every time he tastes peanut butter he remembers it." — Kirsten V., Grand Rapids, Michigan
Too Melty
"Mine doesn't like grilled cheese because it's 'too melty.' However, bread, butter, and cheese alone are fine." — Jessica B., Charleston, South Carolina
Time-Consuming
"My son wouldn't eat hamburgers because they 'took too long to chew.'" — Lisa S., Huntsville, Alabama
Too Spicy ... Bananas?
"Theo wouldn't eat bananas for a few years because they were too spicy. Sure." — Samantha C., Wheaton, Illinois
Not Old Enough
"My younger son tells me that he'll like salad 'when he's a teenager.' His brother is 14 and eats salad so I guess the little one thinks he's got several years before he actually has to eat greens." — Michaela A., Saint Paul, Minnesota
More from CafeMom: 10 'Food Rules' That Could Change Your Picky Eater into a Foodie
They're Touching
"My son wanted cereal. I asked if he wanted it dry or with milk. He said with milk. So I gave him a bowl of cereal in milk and he refused to touch it because the cereal had milk on it. Turns out he wanted both milk and cereal in the bowl but not to be touching. He was very mad that bowls don't work that way." — Sari T., Santa Fe, New Mexico
Fart Smells
"My kid won't eat broccoli any longer because it 'smells like toots.' And I really can't argue with that logic because, well, it kind of does. Delicious toots, that is." — Jessica B., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Not on a Plate
"My son went through a phase where he wouldn't eat anything out of a bowl. He only wanted plates. This was challenging on soup night." — Andrea N., Princeton, New Jersey
It's Green
"For five years, my son refused to eat anything that was green. We [was] offered a range of green items daily, since the rest of us continued to eat green things.
In addition to the typical vegetables, this included things like green M&Ms. There was no reason other than 'I don't eat anything green.'
The food experts who say that they will eventually try it if you keep offering it were technically right, but it took YEARS." — Jennifer N., Saint Paul, Minnesota
More from CafeMom: My Kids' Picky Eating Isn't a Battle I'm Willing to Fight
It Requires a Spoon
"He said he wouldn't eat oatmeal if he had to use a spoon because 'then it would taste like bad ice cream.' When I let him lick it off the plate — gross, I know — he ate it all up. Weirdo." — Jessanne D., Anapolis, Maryland
Makes Me Slip
"Not my kid — for a while when I was little I used to say that I wouldn't eat pizza because it made me slip. Once after a pizza dinner when I was little, I ran up the steps and slipped on the carpet and fell which triggered a little barf that ALMOST made it to the toilet but instead made it to the floor of the bathroom where it looked exactly like an uncut pizza — round and well, you know.
That image scarred me for quite some time. To this day my family jokes about pizza making me slip." — Megan M., Saint Paul, Minnesota
Chili's Too Chilly
"After a long family hike on a cool fall day, we headed home to warm up with hot chocolate and chili for dinner. My son refused to eat the chili because he was 'too cold' and didn't want to get more 'chilly.' I tried to explain the difference between feeling chilly and eating CHILI but he wasn't buying it." — Grace R., Grand Haven, Michigan
More from CafeMom: Stop Food Battles & Make Family Meals Fun by Stealing These Moms' Ideas
